I'm a multitasker at heart - I can't help it. Yesterday, I tried not to multitask by taking down all of my tabs on the Internet until there was just one, removing my USB so I wouldn't be tempted, turning off the TV and DVD player, and hiding my book on top of my wardrobe (on top of the teddies on top of my wardrobe, so I'd have to jump to reach it xD). I went on YouTube, browsed around a bit ... and ended up watching four different channels at once, rotating between each one. I'd watch one AmazingPhil video, and then perhaps two Danisnotonfire, and then five AmazingPhil videos... depending on whether or not I could be bothered to change the tabs xD
Yesterday, I discovered:
AmazingPhil
Danisnotonfire
Tyrannosauruslexxx
GazzyTube
Not heard of them? I highly suggest you check them out.
Right now, I'm procrastinating... I have, like, six pieces of homework due in for next week. CANNOT BE BOTHERED TO DO THEMMMM! I think there should be a law that if you're ill, you don't have to do homework. That would so be amazing. No homework for me, then xD
This is a random blog, with no real purpose other than to tell you about the awesome people I've discovered on YouTube. And by "you", I mean the grand total of one follower I have. Yayy. I feel ... popular -.-
xD
Saturday, 20 March 2010
Thursday, 18 March 2010
Ill Again? ALREADY?!
Yeah, you read that right. I'm ill AGAIN. Even though I only recovered two weeks ago from a cold.
This time, I have a cold AND tonsillitis. Sore throat, bad cough, sniffles, and no voice! Well, I say "no" voice... very little voice. And what voice I have is all croaky and broken, so people can barely understand me anyway. I started to get the sniffles and cough on Monday, which was inset day at school. I went into school on Tuesday, feeling worse, and it was awful. Yesterday, I stayed at home and went to the doctors, where they announced that I had mild tonsillitis.
I'm losing my voice; I have to repeat what I want to say, like, five times before any noise comes out. And when I do, it's very quiet, blocked up, and deep o.0 It's very annoying. I've taken to shouting the words out when it doesn't work the first time, because I'm sick of it... I hate not having a voice.
Along with that, I've probably used up a box and a half of tissues.
And, due to the cough, I've been waking up at all times of the night, coughing and spluttering my guts up. I've been getting practically no sleep at all. If I've gotten more than two hours last night, and the night before, I'll be surprised. However, luckily, this morning, after deciding I wouldn't be going back to school, I managed to stay in bed until 1pm, though I was waking up, like, every twenty minutes or so. Regardless, at least I got SOME extra sleep.
I really hate having time of school. It makes me so behind, and I hate it. Not to mention, being at home, not being able to leave the house, I get very bored. All my friends online are at school, and I've finished my book, and there's nothing on the TV, and I've finished that series of Charmed ... I just get very bored, very quick.
However, on the bright side, I've finished Witch Child, which was my thirteenth book this year (I know... such a small number... I need to pick up the slack if I'm going to read fifty books throughout 2010!), and it was amazing. Review can be found hither. Also, I've nearly finished Season 2 of Charmed, and then I'll start on Season 1 (because watching them backwards is fun ^.^), but I tend to leave them to watch at night, before bed. I'm planning on starting to watch the Supernatural episodes, of Series 1, that my uncle put onto a USB for me AGES ago and I never got round to watching. Because I hear that Supernatural is good, but I've been so caught up in school and the Internet that watching Supernatural just hasn't occurred to me. Being ill, however; watching it seems like the perfect way to spend my time.
On the dark side, again, my friend [Jess] and I were planning on going to see Alice in Wonderland this weekend. However, with me stuck at home with tonsillitis and an asthmatic cough, the chances that we'll see those plans through are very, very small. Microscopic, in fact.
*sigh* ... Merlin hates me.
This time, I have a cold AND tonsillitis. Sore throat, bad cough, sniffles, and no voice! Well, I say "no" voice... very little voice. And what voice I have is all croaky and broken, so people can barely understand me anyway. I started to get the sniffles and cough on Monday, which was inset day at school. I went into school on Tuesday, feeling worse, and it was awful. Yesterday, I stayed at home and went to the doctors, where they announced that I had mild tonsillitis.
I'm losing my voice; I have to repeat what I want to say, like, five times before any noise comes out. And when I do, it's very quiet, blocked up, and deep o.0 It's very annoying. I've taken to shouting the words out when it doesn't work the first time, because I'm sick of it... I hate not having a voice.
Along with that, I've probably used up a box and a half of tissues.
And, due to the cough, I've been waking up at all times of the night, coughing and spluttering my guts up. I've been getting practically no sleep at all. If I've gotten more than two hours last night, and the night before, I'll be surprised. However, luckily, this morning, after deciding I wouldn't be going back to school, I managed to stay in bed until 1pm, though I was waking up, like, every twenty minutes or so. Regardless, at least I got SOME extra sleep.
I really hate having time of school. It makes me so behind, and I hate it. Not to mention, being at home, not being able to leave the house, I get very bored. All my friends online are at school, and I've finished my book, and there's nothing on the TV, and I've finished that series of Charmed ... I just get very bored, very quick.
However, on the bright side, I've finished Witch Child, which was my thirteenth book this year (I know... such a small number... I need to pick up the slack if I'm going to read fifty books throughout 2010!), and it was amazing. Review can be found hither. Also, I've nearly finished Season 2 of Charmed, and then I'll start on Season 1 (because watching them backwards is fun ^.^), but I tend to leave them to watch at night, before bed. I'm planning on starting to watch the Supernatural episodes, of Series 1, that my uncle put onto a USB for me AGES ago and I never got round to watching. Because I hear that Supernatural is good, but I've been so caught up in school and the Internet that watching Supernatural just hasn't occurred to me. Being ill, however; watching it seems like the perfect way to spend my time.
On the dark side, again, my friend [Jess] and I were planning on going to see Alice in Wonderland this weekend. However, with me stuck at home with tonsillitis and an asthmatic cough, the chances that we'll see those plans through are very, very small. Microscopic, in fact.
*sigh* ... Merlin hates me.
Sunday, 14 March 2010
The Scary Truth.
Growing up scares me and I'm not afraid to admit it.
When I was nine, I was terrified of turning ten. It was double-digits; a scary step for a little girl.
When I was twelve, I was scared of turning thirteen. I would officially, physically be a teenager, despite having had the maturity of one for a few years already. I wouldn't have to worry about being turned away at cinemas for being under the required age when trying to get into a 13A movie. I could join sites on the Internet without parental consent. I wouldn't be viewed as a baby as much as I used to. It was scary.
And, now, as a thirteen year old, I just can't imagine myself being older. Fourteen seems so old to me; fifteen, even older. And it's a terrifying thought that, in just five years time, I will be an official adult. I'll be able to get driving lessons, go to uni, buy alcohol.
I think, rather than the actual growing up, I'm afraid of the responsibility that comes with it. The older you get, the more people rely on you to get things done, the more people expect you to stop acting like a little kid, the more people think you're capable of things like babysitting or being home alone.
Eventually, there won't be anyone else around to do the washing up or wake me up in the morning. There won't be anyone to cook me meals or iron my washing ... that'll be up to me, and me alone. I'll have to buy my food, I'll have to worry about taxes and bills, I'll have to worry about buying new clothes when mine don't fit. It's a terrifying thought.
Most of you will probably thinking, "You've got years until then. Why worry about it now? Cross that bridge when you get to it." I understand, I agree... but I can't help it. It's my nature to worry about things that shouldn't matter to me, to stress over small things, to make mountains of molehills. It's just who I am, and I wish I could change it, but I can't.
And so I'll worry, and stress, and bite my lip over growing up, instead of living for the moment and having fun with the present. That's just my persona.
Another thing about me, that people often question, is my perfectionism. I have cried, I have screamed, I have gotten so angry I've nearly torn my hair out ... over things that don't turn out how I want them to. Usually, this is with my art, when something I'm really dedicated to turns out awfully, or I don't get the eyes equal, or the mouth even ... or something silly like that.
At the time, I know I'm being silly, but I can't help it. I know my work won't be perfect, but I want it to be to the best of my ability, and if it's not then I get upset. Really upset. Not long ago, I was set Art homework - to draw a portrait of a family member. Using a photograph, I tried to draw my younger cousin. I can't remember what was wrong, but something turned out horribly, and I stared at the picture, hands clenched in my hair, fighting back tears, biting on my lip so hard it almost bled, for ten minutes straight. I had my earphones in and my music on really loud, so I couldn't hear my grandparents talking to me and trying to get me to listen. I only responded to anything when my mum put her arm around me - even then, all I did was shrugged her arm away. I got the portrait done eventually, with my mum's help, but I wasn't happy.
And I knew I was being stupid. But I couldn't help it.
Another way my perfectionism affects me is with my progress reviews. Every half-term, we receive a progress review, telling us what level we're at, what level we've got to be at by the end of the year, and whether our behavior, effort, and homework is excellent, good, satisfactory, or concern - for each of our classes. I'm a hardworking girl, I aim for the best, I try my hardest ... and when I see that I got an "S" for my homework in Maths, or I only got a 5.3 when I'm aiming for a 6.5 in Science, or whatever it may be, I get really upset. And while I'll laugh and joke with the others, wondering how the hell they can still be smiling after getting eight or nine concerns throughout their entire P.R., I'm trying not to show how upset I am over these small things.
At the start of Year Eight, when my Drama teacher mistakenly marked my effort as a "C", I felt like crying. Honestly, I did. But because it was so small compared to what some of the other people in my class had got, I bottled it up, and went to see my Drama teacher at lunch, inquiring it. I always worked hard in Drama, I always got decent evaluations and fair reviews, and I didn't disrupt the lesson like the others did, so I didn't understand why she'd marked me so low. As it turns out, she had meant to give me an "E", but looked at the person after me in the register on her little chart thing, when transferring them onto the computer. But even after knowing this, I still felt disappointed about getting that C, despite it being incorrect.
I guess it's because I expect too much of myself. I expect to be achieving close to my end-of-year target, I expect to be getting E(Excellent)s and G(Good)s for my behavior and effort. I expect to get easy, understandable action points. After every test, I think, "I could have done better", and yet when it gets back to us, I end up getting a good result. Because, although I know I did my best, the perfectionist in me thinks I can do better; expects me to, almost.
I don't know what the point of this post is... to let off steam, I guess, to vent, to get out my emotions. At the end of the day, that's what a blog is for, right? To let things out. And I've been thinking about growing up a lot lately, considering I'll be fourteen at the end of January 2011, which oddly enough, doesn't seem that far away to me.
Any other perfectionists out there?
When I was nine, I was terrified of turning ten. It was double-digits; a scary step for a little girl.
When I was twelve, I was scared of turning thirteen. I would officially, physically be a teenager, despite having had the maturity of one for a few years already. I wouldn't have to worry about being turned away at cinemas for being under the required age when trying to get into a 13A movie. I could join sites on the Internet without parental consent. I wouldn't be viewed as a baby as much as I used to. It was scary.
And, now, as a thirteen year old, I just can't imagine myself being older. Fourteen seems so old to me; fifteen, even older. And it's a terrifying thought that, in just five years time, I will be an official adult. I'll be able to get driving lessons, go to uni, buy alcohol.
I think, rather than the actual growing up, I'm afraid of the responsibility that comes with it. The older you get, the more people rely on you to get things done, the more people expect you to stop acting like a little kid, the more people think you're capable of things like babysitting or being home alone.
Eventually, there won't be anyone else around to do the washing up or wake me up in the morning. There won't be anyone to cook me meals or iron my washing ... that'll be up to me, and me alone. I'll have to buy my food, I'll have to worry about taxes and bills, I'll have to worry about buying new clothes when mine don't fit. It's a terrifying thought.
Most of you will probably thinking, "You've got years until then. Why worry about it now? Cross that bridge when you get to it." I understand, I agree... but I can't help it. It's my nature to worry about things that shouldn't matter to me, to stress over small things, to make mountains of molehills. It's just who I am, and I wish I could change it, but I can't.
And so I'll worry, and stress, and bite my lip over growing up, instead of living for the moment and having fun with the present. That's just my persona.
Another thing about me, that people often question, is my perfectionism. I have cried, I have screamed, I have gotten so angry I've nearly torn my hair out ... over things that don't turn out how I want them to. Usually, this is with my art, when something I'm really dedicated to turns out awfully, or I don't get the eyes equal, or the mouth even ... or something silly like that.
At the time, I know I'm being silly, but I can't help it. I know my work won't be perfect, but I want it to be to the best of my ability, and if it's not then I get upset. Really upset. Not long ago, I was set Art homework - to draw a portrait of a family member. Using a photograph, I tried to draw my younger cousin. I can't remember what was wrong, but something turned out horribly, and I stared at the picture, hands clenched in my hair, fighting back tears, biting on my lip so hard it almost bled, for ten minutes straight. I had my earphones in and my music on really loud, so I couldn't hear my grandparents talking to me and trying to get me to listen. I only responded to anything when my mum put her arm around me - even then, all I did was shrugged her arm away. I got the portrait done eventually, with my mum's help, but I wasn't happy.
And I knew I was being stupid. But I couldn't help it.
Another way my perfectionism affects me is with my progress reviews. Every half-term, we receive a progress review, telling us what level we're at, what level we've got to be at by the end of the year, and whether our behavior, effort, and homework is excellent, good, satisfactory, or concern - for each of our classes. I'm a hardworking girl, I aim for the best, I try my hardest ... and when I see that I got an "S" for my homework in Maths, or I only got a 5.3 when I'm aiming for a 6.5 in Science, or whatever it may be, I get really upset. And while I'll laugh and joke with the others, wondering how the hell they can still be smiling after getting eight or nine concerns throughout their entire P.R., I'm trying not to show how upset I am over these small things.
At the start of Year Eight, when my Drama teacher mistakenly marked my effort as a "C", I felt like crying. Honestly, I did. But because it was so small compared to what some of the other people in my class had got, I bottled it up, and went to see my Drama teacher at lunch, inquiring it. I always worked hard in Drama, I always got decent evaluations and fair reviews, and I didn't disrupt the lesson like the others did, so I didn't understand why she'd marked me so low. As it turns out, she had meant to give me an "E", but looked at the person after me in the register on her little chart thing, when transferring them onto the computer. But even after knowing this, I still felt disappointed about getting that C, despite it being incorrect.
I guess it's because I expect too much of myself. I expect to be achieving close to my end-of-year target, I expect to be getting E(Excellent)s and G(Good)s for my behavior and effort. I expect to get easy, understandable action points. After every test, I think, "I could have done better", and yet when it gets back to us, I end up getting a good result. Because, although I know I did my best, the perfectionist in me thinks I can do better; expects me to, almost.
I don't know what the point of this post is... to let off steam, I guess, to vent, to get out my emotions. At the end of the day, that's what a blog is for, right? To let things out. And I've been thinking about growing up a lot lately, considering I'll be fourteen at the end of January 2011, which oddly enough, doesn't seem that far away to me.
Any other perfectionists out there?
Sunday, 7 March 2010
Useless, useless laptop.
My laptop, as the title implies, is useless. I love it to pieces. I love the privacy, I love the mobility, I love the keys (so small, unlike those annoying huge keys on the keyboards at school).
We bought the laptop on the 2nd January, 2008 when my grandad had a [mild] heart attack, to keep him occupied in hospital and when he came home (had to stay in bed for a week or so xD). Because he's one of those people who complains a lot xD He said he was bored in hospital, so we got him a laptop xD
It just has a few flaws.
1. It only has a 1GB memory, so I have to save everything to USBs because if the laptop memory gets 50% full, it works at a snails place.
2. It's two years old, meaning not only is it seriously outdated, but it's lifespan is also wearing thin.
3. In connection to #2, it has had problems with it for the last 6 months, ish. Including:
---broken charging wire thingy (I burnt myself when it sparked on my finger *pouts*);
---the charging hole thingy must have grown bigger, as the lead keeps falling out;
---virus after virus after virus, despite the tons of security programs we've set up;
---the CD slot thingy doesn't recognise CDs when you put it in. It's broken O_O;
---the fan broke recently - it was away for five weeks in repair, they put a new fan in, and IT'S REALLY LOUD.
The reason for this post, is because my laptop got a virus on Friday. Thankfully, my amazing next door neighbour managed to get rid of it, and - at the same time - installed an amazing protection system (McAfee) AND downloaded Mozilla Firefox for me (which I've been meaning to do for ages). Thank you, Pete!
But he said we need a new one anyway because, once the fan has broken down, the entire mother board will slowly break until it's unrepairable. So we're looking for a new, decent one.
Useless, useless laptop. Roar.
We bought the laptop on the 2nd January, 2008 when my grandad had a [mild] heart attack, to keep him occupied in hospital and when he came home (had to stay in bed for a week or so xD). Because he's one of those people who complains a lot xD He said he was bored in hospital, so we got him a laptop xD
It just has a few flaws.
1. It only has a 1GB memory, so I have to save everything to USBs because if the laptop memory gets 50% full, it works at a snails place.
2. It's two years old, meaning not only is it seriously outdated, but it's lifespan is also wearing thin.
3. In connection to #2, it has had problems with it for the last 6 months, ish. Including:
---broken charging wire thingy (I burnt myself when it sparked on my finger *pouts*);
---the charging hole thingy must have grown bigger, as the lead keeps falling out;
---virus after virus after virus, despite the tons of security programs we've set up;
---the CD slot thingy doesn't recognise CDs when you put it in. It's broken O_O;
---the fan broke recently - it was away for five weeks in repair, they put a new fan in, and IT'S REALLY LOUD.
The reason for this post, is because my laptop got a virus on Friday. Thankfully, my amazing next door neighbour managed to get rid of it, and - at the same time - installed an amazing protection system (McAfee) AND downloaded Mozilla Firefox for me (which I've been meaning to do for ages). Thank you, Pete!
But he said we need a new one anyway because, once the fan has broken down, the entire mother board will slowly break until it's unrepairable. So we're looking for a new, decent one.
Useless, useless laptop. Roar.
Friday, 5 March 2010
The Side Effects of Being Ill.
I bring this to you, because surprise surprise, I'm ill.
Yeah.
And I'm talking to nobody, because I have no followers. Whoop. Imma loner.
Anyway ...
The Side Effects of Being Ill:
Migraine: Not being able to read, use the laptop, or listen to music without stopping every few minutes to recover. Flinching at sudden noises. Having to stay in darkness, because light hurts. Sleeping a lot, because that's supposed to help fix it. Cupping ears with hands to block out noise, as if that will make the headache leave.
Sore throat: Eating only soft/liquid-y things, like soup, yoghurts, bread, scrambled eggs. Saying "ow"/gritting teeth/wincing/clenching fists/groaning every other time you swallow/hiccup/gasp/etc.. Not being able to raise your voice, because speaking loudly hurts.
Barking cough: Waking up in the middle of the night, just to have a coughing fit. Pains in chest. Making aforementioned sore throat worse.
Sniffles: Quick disappearance of tissues. Annoying others around you with sniffling noises. Annoying yourself with that constant runny nose feeling.
(Now, I would include 'Ear infection', but since I'm not entirely sure what I have is an ear infection, or whether it's just my ear being freaky, I'll just post my side effects of a possible ear infection).
My possible ear infection: Noises sounding robotic/techno/tinny/computerised through one ear, while other ear is normal. Saying "Whoa, that sounds weird" when hearing a new noise through freaky ear. Ear feels blocked. When blocking one ear, everything sounds normal (works with both ears), yet when both ears are open, they don't co-operate and the weird noise effect returns.
Not going to school: Watching one and a half seasons (4&halfof5) of Charmed on DVD. Finishing one book, starting another (despite head hurting). Incredible boredom. Missing friends. Increasing insanity. Laziness.
___________________________________________________________________
As you can see, being ill is not fun.
Is there anything else Merlin would like to throw at me?
Roar.
-.-
And now, my head feels like it's splitting, so I'm going to turn the laptop off now.
Over and out.
Yeah.
And I'm talking to nobody, because I have no followers. Whoop. Imma loner.
Anyway ...
The Side Effects of Being Ill:
Migraine: Not being able to read, use the laptop, or listen to music without stopping every few minutes to recover. Flinching at sudden noises. Having to stay in darkness, because light hurts. Sleeping a lot, because that's supposed to help fix it. Cupping ears with hands to block out noise, as if that will make the headache leave.
Sore throat: Eating only soft/liquid-y things, like soup, yoghurts, bread, scrambled eggs. Saying "ow"/gritting teeth/wincing/clenching fists/groaning every other time you swallow/hiccup/gasp/etc.. Not being able to raise your voice, because speaking loudly hurts.
Barking cough: Waking up in the middle of the night, just to have a coughing fit. Pains in chest. Making aforementioned sore throat worse.
Sniffles: Quick disappearance of tissues. Annoying others around you with sniffling noises. Annoying yourself with that constant runny nose feeling.
(Now, I would include 'Ear infection', but since I'm not entirely sure what I have is an ear infection, or whether it's just my ear being freaky, I'll just post my side effects of a possible ear infection).
My possible ear infection: Noises sounding robotic/techno/tinny/computerised through one ear, while other ear is normal. Saying "Whoa, that sounds weird" when hearing a new noise through freaky ear. Ear feels blocked. When blocking one ear, everything sounds normal (works with both ears), yet when both ears are open, they don't co-operate and the weird noise effect returns.
Not going to school: Watching one and a half seasons (4&halfof5) of Charmed on DVD. Finishing one book, starting another (despite head hurting). Incredible boredom. Missing friends. Increasing insanity. Laziness.
___________________________________________________________________
As you can see, being ill is not fun.
Is there anything else Merlin would like to throw at me?
Roar.
-.-
And now, my head feels like it's splitting, so I'm going to turn the laptop off now.
Over and out.
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