The things I feel for Santana right now are just insane. Next to Kurt, she’s always been my favourite character. When I first started watching Glee and I wasn’t sure if I liked it, it was her and Kurt that I enjoyed seeing the most. That still hasn’t changed, but now I love Glee and … yeah.
I think Santana, Kurt, Blaine, and Karofsky are the only Glee characters I will ever refer to as “my baby” because they’re the characters I can empathise with (if not relate to) and connect with. Since the hiatus ended, I have seen crazy amounts of development from each of these characters.
With Karofsky, we were finally able to see him affected by people mentioning homosexuality. We saw how insecure he was. Not only has Kurt matured a lot (by helping Blaine with Jeremiah instead of wrecking everything like he would have done with Finn), but we’ve also discovered just how insecure he is about sex. It’s finally out and in the open that Blaine isn’t a knight in shining armour because he sucks at romance — there was also the whole “finding himself” plot in 2x14.
Seeing all of these developments have affected me in different ways, but none of them impacted me as much Santana has done in Sexy (S02E15). I am so ridiculously proud of her.
I know what it’s like to be confused about your sexuality, to want to shy away from labels altogether but still find out who you really are. And it’s scary. God, scratch that, it’s downright terrifying. You just want to shut everyone out, along with your emotions, and just not feel for a while. Although Kurt had it rough once he came out, he’s genuinely lucky to never truly go through the whole discovery process. He always knew. Hell, his dad knew before he did. He’s just always been the gay kid.
But Santana, she shut people out and she became the bitch because she was scared of people discovering how she felt. She didn’t like what she was feeling. She was scared of it. And now she’s finally realised that she can’t run any more, that she is in love with Brittany, and to actually admit that outloud … I am just so proud of her.
I rarely want things to happen on Glee. I have hopes, naturally, but I wouldn’t be upset if they didn’t play out. There are only two things I want from Glee right now.
One, for Brittany to come to her senses and realise that she loves Santana so much more than she loves Artie. And to act on those feelings. Santana has suffered such an internal battle, and making her suffer even more is just cruel. She deserves love.
And two, I want Karofsky to reach the point that Santana has finally gotten to. And by that, I don’t mean walking up to Kurt and saying “I’m sorry. I love you. Be my boyfriend.” I just want him to realise that he can’t keep running and that his feelings for Kurt aren’t anything to be ashamed of. He, like Santana, became a nasty person because he didn’t want to face his feelings. He tortured Kurt because he was terrified. And over acceptance from Azimio and his family and the school, I want him to be able to accept himself.
… I think that’s all I wanted to say.
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