B E D A

April is almost upon us and BEDA is only just out of our reach. Just like last year, I will be doing BEDA. For those of you who are unaware, BEDA stands for Blog Every Day in April, in which thousands of bloggers dedicate their time into writing at least one blog post a day for the thirty days that make up April. There's another variation of this called VEDA, Vlog Every Day in April, in which vloggers make and upload a video every day.

I can't promise I'll remember to blog every day. I might get tired and decide to turn in early without blogging, or maybe my head will be particularly nasty and it hurts too much to use the laptop, or maybe I'll just be my idiotic self and let it slip my mind. However, I vow to attempt to blog every day in April, and for every single day I may or may not miss, I will write a drabble and post it in May. That's a promise.

Now, onto my day. I had a blood test this morning and the nurse missed the vein at first so I have two puncture holes in the crook of my elbow that look like I've been bitten by a snake. I'm already sporting a lovely bruise, too. Have I ever mentioned that I'm aichmophobic? Yes, I have. I was terrified. My results should be here within a day or two.

The rest of my day has been rather dull, except for maybe the last couple of hours. I sent Dominic Barnes, a Warbler on Glee and a really amazing person, a message. He replied. I fangirled. Katie and I were unable to form coherent sentences. The excitement slowly decreased. Here I am.

I got a letter in the post with my exam dates. I have three GCSEs at the beginning of May, and one at the beginning of June. Do you have any idea how close that is? My first exam is in, like, forty days. I've missed so much school and I can never concentrate and I have forty days for my headache to decrease enough that I concentrate so I can study and catch up and have a chance at passing. It'll be hopeless. I'll fail. I'll probably have a breakdown in the examination hall. I'm screwed.

However, I have a meeting tomorrow with my form teacher and head of year about adjusting my timetable and twisting things up to make it easier for me to cope with school. I'm going in at 9AM with my mum and we're going to discuss it. So that should be ... productive.

I'll see you guys later, I guess.

Did I Set That Off?

Right. So. The last thing I should be doing right now is blogging. I have a killer headache, like the one I had back in October(or was it November?). The one that lasted two and a half weeks? Yeah. It's like that. I convinced my mum to let me stay off school yesterday and my nan convinced her to let me have today off, too. I feel like crap, I can't look at the screen for longer than a couple of minutes at a time, and I hate it. I don't know how I managed to write that post about Darren yesterday but let me tell you, it took a very long time.

I realised I hadn't actually blogged about how things were going, so I decided I should tell you while waiting for the first episode of Gossip Girl to load.

The Biology exam was okay. I was really nervous beforehand. I couldn't stop shaking and I felt like I wanted to throw up, but I stomached it and sat the exam and all was fine and dandy. I'm reluctant to say that I think I've possibly scraped a B, just in case I completely fail it, but that's what I'm hoping for -- if I get a B or higher, I'll be happy.

On Saturday, my friend Shannon turned fourteen. She was my best friend from birth until the age of eleven and it was the first time I'd been round her house in two years -- it was scarily nostalgic. Abby, Alex and Jess came round my house at eleven and we went to Shannon's at twelve. From there, we caught a bus to the cinema where we watched the third Narnia movie in 3D. I love Narnia.

It was kind of suffocating because there were seven other girls and I'm just not comfortable around females. I'm comfortable around guys, most of my friends are guys, I can be happy around guys. With girls, there's too many high-heels and skirts and too much make-up and gossip. It's disgusting. Nauseating. Awful. I hate it.  However, I suffered the grueling task of hanging out with those seven girls and lived to tell the tale.

We then came back to town where we separated briefly, Abby, Alex, Jess and I returning to my house for a few hours while the others went to Shannon's. At seven, we went back to Shannon's, where we ate dinner and played Just Dance on the Wii for three hours until it was time to leave. Abby and Alex got picked up from my house and Jess stayed the night. Watching over the footage I took from that night, we found one clip in particular too hilarious not to share with the world. Abby, making a complete fool of herself.

And that's that, really. There is, naturally, other stuff going on in my life right now. It is, however, too personal to share. A lot of matters aren't even my stories to tell and I doubt my friends would be too happy if I blogged about it online.

Now, before my head splits open, I'm going to go. Gossip Girl has finished loading so I'm going to go and watch that. See you whenever I'm better, readers!

Pre-Exam Stress

It's late, the night before my exam, and I can't sleep. My head hurts, like usual, and I'm petrified of failing tomorrow. I've studied myself into a frenzy, my friend and I quizzed each other today after school, I've done everything I possibly can to try and get everything into my overcrowded brain. I know I'm prepared, I know that I know enough to get a passing grade, but my paranoia is getting the better of me and convincing me that I know nothing and that I will fail.

I'm sorry for being such a Debbie Downer lately, and thank you so much to those of you who commented and gave me your support and kind words. You have no idea how much I appreciate it that you took the time to leave those comments for me.

The stuff going on in my head isn't something that can sort itself out overnight. I understand that you don't know what it is so you won't be able to get it, but it's something I have to come to terms with about myself and by myself. That's going to take time because I'm so confused about it, and I wish I felt comfortable enough to talk about it but I really don't. When I do, however, you -- my readers -- will be some of the first people to know.

Telling me not to worry, though I understand you have good intentions, generally only tends to make me worry more. I try not to think about whatever is worrying me which effectively only makes me more aware of it which makes me worry more. It's a vicious cycle, and one I've fallen prey to more than once.

My birthday, Megha, is on 31st January. Once my birthday is over, I will blog about it. It will either be a babble about how excited I am that it turned out alright, or an angst!fest because it got ruined. All (about why I'm dreading this birthday) will be explained in that blog post.

Right, I'm starting to feel more tired now, so I'm going to try and get some more sleep. I hope I'm not too exhausted for the exam tomorrow. See you, readers!