Yu Phoenix.

Yu has been driving me crazy these past few days. I've been on the emotion roller coaster because of that man. Before you click away because you don't want to hear some random chick gushing about a guy with awesome hair and facial piercings, I can assure you that the emotions I've been feeling have not been good ones. But, Merlin, how I wish they were ...

Firstly, he wrote this blog, about how he wanted to change his name. Yu Phoenix is what I've always known him to be. Even though he says that it's not because he wants to distance himself from Cinema Bizarre, the cynical being that is me can't help but doubt that. I can't imagine calling him anything other than Yu. It's much the same with the likes of Kiro and Shin ... they will always be Kiro and Shin to me, even though they are happy to let people know that they're names are Carsten Schaefer and Marcel Gothow. Honestly, though, I don't know why I'm taking this news so hard, why I'm almost angry at Yu for wanting to change his name. All those jokes with my friends, all those memories of getting out of awkward situations by pretending I said "Yu" instead "you" ... there won't be any more if he changes his name, because he won't be "Yu" any more. He's a lot more connected with his fans than Kiro and Shin are, who only tweet every once in a while. He's right out there - twitter, youtube, blogspot ... I feel more of a connection to him than I do the other band members, because he's more involved. He lets us see into his life, small snippets of what's going on that make him more than just "a member of CB" (not that he was ever just that to me). Even if he does change his name, which I sincerely hope he doesn't, he'll always be Yu to me, as he will always be to many other fans, I'm sure.

Next, he tweeted this ^ ... I hate smoking. I absolutely detest it. I've lived around it most of my life, and I believe that passive smoking is one of the reasons I now have asthma. I knew that Kiro smoked, I knew that a long time ago and I've gotten over the shock ... but I had no idea Yu smoked. Maybe I was ignorant and I missed the signs, or I became a fan too late, or I'm just not looking in the right places, but I honestly thought Kiro was the only one. And then Yu tweeted this, and I felt horrid. Why do I always look up to these people, idolizing people who smoke? Of course, smoking isn't the reason I idolize them, but nearly everyone I look up to in life smokes, or has smoked previously. I just don't understand. And even though he says he'll quit, it's not always that easy. My mum has promised me that she'll quite smoking time and time again since I was a toddler, and she still hasn't. It's too hard for her. Hopefully, Yu isn't too addicted and is capable of stopping.

This was soon followed by the news that Rouge Morgue, a band which Yu and Romeo were to be a part of with some other people, wouldn't be happening. Now, truth be told, I wasn't overly excited for RM. It was taking Yu and Romeo one step further away from Cinema Bizarre, making reality that little bit more real, and I hated that. I wanted to stay in my fantasy world where Jess and I will go to a Cinema Bizarre concert for my sixteenth birthday and get backstage passes to meet the band, where we spend too much money buying new albums from Amazon, where we annoy our friends by squealing over the new photoshoots of the gorgeous lads and singing new lyrics at the tops of our tone-deaf lungs. I didn't want to leave that place, but Rouge Morgue was going to force me. Even so, I was saddened that things didn't work out.

And then, Yu posts this blog post. I saw it exactly two minutes after he posted it - just a little funfact. It contains, in brackets, "(not a break up, a break, we wont be gone forever)". This is regarding Cinema Bizarre, naturally. Now, I'm not one to believe rumours, but I was almost certain that, even if a band called Cinema Bizarre resurfaced, it wouldn't be our Cinema Bizarre, the one we know and love, the one with Strify, Kiro, Shin, Yu and Romeo. Our Cinema Bizarre, the real one, broke up back in January. I want to believe Yu, that it's just a break and they're all going to get back together eventually. My heart is screaming at me to believe him. But my brain is yelling at me, overpowering my heart, that he's lying and my hopes will be crushed and my heart will break again upon hearing the news that Cinema Bizarre won't come back ... or that Cinema Bizarre has come back, but with a change in members. CB won't be CB without Kiro and his upturned nose, Shin with his seemingly childlike innocence, Strify with his breathtaking vocals, Yu with his yummy uniqueness, the fanservice (I'm a teenage girl. Of course I like the fanservice) ... it just wouldn't be right.

Yu, if you're reading this (which I doubt), I wish you the best. Whichever road you decide to take, I'll support, no matter how hesitant or disappointed I may be. No matter what name you take or what bands you become a part of, you'll always be Yu to me, and I'll always remember you as that crazy, kick-ass guitarist from some German band who got their name from a movie genre. I love you, Yu. You'll always be an inspiration to me.

To-Do List.

Unless you're blind or distracted, you probably just noticed the new thingymajig at the top. Header? Banner? It's kind of, well, both. Yeahh... Anyway, it took me about an hour, and I was really conscious of the fact that my eyes were just staring at me while I worked. I'm usually alright, dealing with faces and stuff. But that just really unnerved me. Haha. It probably wouldn't have taken as long, but (a) I experimenting, and (b) I downloaded a bunch of new fonts yesterday from DeviantART, and I was testing them out. If you're a hardcore Paramore fan, you may have noticed that "Steph Blogs Too Much" is written in the same font as "Paramore" on the Brand New Eyes album. Fun facts FTW! I'll probably make some more banners, same style, different fonts, soon, when I get bored or whatever.

I'm also going to work on a new skin for this blog, something that isn't just a block colour, something in lilac because I'm really into that colour at the moment.

While on the talk of skins and such, does anyone have any idea how to create new skins and themes on Zetaboards? A friend and I are working on making a forum - and I won't say any more on the subject until it's up and running - and we're both completely confused by the settings of the Zetaboards skin-maker thingymajig. Sooo, if you have any tips, or can assist us, we'll be forever grateful. Many thanks!

I've officially been titled "The loser girl who reads manga." ... and all because my best friend, Allie, wants to get me into manga and anime, as I currently hold no interest whatsoever in it. I willingly agreed to watching Death Note, because I know the storyline, and I truthfully think it sounds interesting. However, I was reluctant to read manga, because I've tried, got confused, and didn't enjoy it. But I'm trying. At first, I tried to read Fruits Basket, but the earliest book in the series available in my school library was Book Six, which is no good (if I read a series, I start at the start and read in chronological order). The only series that had Book One was 'Pita-Ten'. I'm on page 47, and it's really weird. I talked to Allie about what made it weird, and apparently it's weird even for manga, sooo maybe I just picked the wrong book to start off with. Now, she wants me to read Ghost Hunt (which isn't in the school library). However, because I checked this book out and was reading it in form, I've officially been nicknamed "loser girl who reads manga." by a boy in my form, even though he's only seen me reading it once, the dislike was evident on my face, and I explained to him that I found it weird as hell.

But, anyway... I wanted to talk to you about something else, but I can't--

Never mind. I remember now! I was going to write my to-do list, and then at the end of each blog I make in the future, I can cross them off once I've achieved them. My to-do list is quite long, because I expect way too much of myself.

TO-DO LIST.
-- Catch up on Neighbours
-- Watch Vampires in Venice
-- Get photostills from Vampires in Venice
-- Write up RPG rules for KWC and 'Secret Forum Project'
-- Arrange with friend who's going to write which rules for Secret Forum Project
-- Finish Pita-Ten.
-- Finish Eagle Strike.
-- Make blog skin.
-- Make lyrics icons.
-- Make Secret Forum Project Header Banner
-- STAMPS! (I know what I mean. Don't ask xD)
-- Watch Death Note

As you can see, I expect wayyy too much of myself. This list will probably take me three or four months to actually complete. And I swear there's more things I wanted to do. Yeah. ... I'm not even going to bother putting "Teach myself guitar" and "Teach myself German" on the list, because they're not going to happen for a long, long time.

Keep blogging!

Writer's Digest

A couple of days ago, I found a Twitter acount called @WritersDigest and I've fallen in love with it. It posts links to articles about writing, such as '8 Basic Writing Blunders' and 'Brenda Novak on 5 ways to make your romance story stand out to editors and agents' usually from their site (but sometimes from elsewhere), and they're so helpful with writing. I love it. They just give little tips, and they're really inspirational. If you enjoy writing, or you want to improve your writing skills, I highly suggest you follow them/keep an eye on them(if you don't have Twitter). They're honestly fantastic. And in the Brenda Novak article, a certain quote stood out to me.

“Give one plot to 10 different authors and you’ll get 10 very different stories.”

And it's true. As a writer, I know it's true. Unless two writers think very much alike or one is just a very good copycat/thief, the stories written around the same plot are bound to be different. I love this. Of course, it doesn't always work. For example, give someone the plot of "good vampire falls for the new human girl at high school", and you'll end up with something a lot like Twilight. Give someone the plot of "mad scientist creates and neglects a creature from dead bodies, who gets angry although he wants to love.", and you'll most likely end up with something similar to Frankenstein. However, give them something like "teenage boy unwillingly becomes a spy and tries to save the world at a posh boarding school" and unless they've read the book I'm thinking of, it won't end up much like Point Blanc. The vaguer the plot is, naturally, the more different the stories will be, and that's the beauty of it. Ever heard the saying 'Simplicity is bliss'? Well, that applies here.

So, anyway, check out Writers Digest! If you're a writer, I highly doubt it'll dissappoint.

In other news, I went on an edit frenzy last night. It was slightly insane. I made four banners within the space of an hour and a half without them looking rushed, and while I was talking to a couple of friends online, as well*.

That one is probably my favourite, because it changed so much. Originally, I had no idea what I was doing. I was randomly colouring different parts in different shades of orange and red or whatever. Then I made it purple. Even after that, I still had no idea who I was going to put on the picture, but after sticking some trees with low opacity on it, I found this beautiful picture of Karen Gillan on Google Images. However, purple didn't look nice, so I changed the colour to green, and then toyed around with different parts of the background, changing the shading in certain areas until I was happy, and then stuck Karen on it. I really like it. Although, that being said, I also love this one ...

While browsing Paramore pictures on Google Images, and listening to Paramore on my phone (It has an MP4 built into it... what can I say? It's cheaper than buying a fancy phone and an iPod touch or whatever separately, and it works fine, so why not?), I found this picture just as Where the Lines Overlap started. Naturally, the cogs in my brain started moving, because the first line just fit the picture so much. After a bit of over-excited editing, this was born. Here's the original picture.

The others, along with these, will be up on my DeviantART shortly.
Keep blogging!

*Multitasking FTW!

Yu Has Blogspot!

This just a short blog to express my excitement, because Yu from Cinema Bizarre has got a blogspot at http://369crimson.blogspot.com/. Squeeeeee! Don't know who Yu is? It's this guy.

 

Now, I have a question for you... do you call this site blogger or blogspot? It really depends on what mood I'm in, but I call it both. Like, now I'm calling it blogspot, yet I've called it blogger before. Answer in the comments (:

Oh, and Kristina Horner (an awesome girl - literally) tweeted about this site earlier, and it's strangely addictive. Check it out!

Keep blogging!

Connected

I stayed round my best friend(Jess)'s house Saturday night (with our friends, Kelly and Lottie, and Jess's cousin Ellie), and again on Sunday night, just Jess and myself. I haven't touched a computer since 11am on Saturday; that's saying something. Haha. So, anyway, Saturday evening, we had a party because it was Jess's birthday on the 27th and her brother's birthday on the 30th. It wasn't wild, but it was fun.

It started out as just Kelly, Jess and I, and we spent the first few hours on the trampoline and snacking on bits from the food table, but then Ellie showed up, soon followed by Lottie. Ellie is officially the coolest eight year old ever; she's into my kind of music, and she's insanely mature for her age. She's great! While the other girls tried to get alcohol from Jess's mum, her and I sat in the study, watching the TV, singing our hearts out to Kerrang! and Scuzz, laughing at the ridiculous screamo videos and tutting at the amount of topless women they show in the music videos on Channel AKA at night. The lot of us also played Singstar for a bit, on which it was Kelly+Lottie vs. Ellie+Steph+Jess. That was so fun.

But, anyway, when we settled down in the lounge to "go to bed", we watched Lee Evans, which got so boring after a while (he's just not very funny, and the retarded act is overused). In the morning, Ellie left, then the rest of us went to the HAGS park. It's called HAGS, because all the stuff has HAGS indented into it ... on purpose. It's like, it was made by "HAGS". But it was really cold, so then Lottie left, and Kelly went to the club that her dad works at to watch football, while Jess and I went to my house. Then we had dinner at Jess's, Kelly left, and I stayed the night. We watched the past two Doctor Who's, along with Britain's Got Talent and The Whole 19 Yards. We fell asleep watching Avatar.

And now we're back to the present. I came home a few hours after waking up, came on here, caught up as best as I could, and now I'm writing this blog. I mentioned BGT up there, didn't I? There was a reason for that ... Connected have won my heart. I love them to pieces.



They are so adorable. I love Harry the most - the one in the middle. And Matt (the blond one next to him) makes my heart melt when he cries at the end. I love them. If they don't get into the semi-finals at least, I'm going to be so disappointed. Yes, I love Tobias Mead, Chloe Hickingbottom, Keiran Gaffney and Olivia Archbold*, but Connected just melted me. They gave me goosebumps.

Now, onto Doctor Who. WARNING: DOCTOR WHO SEASON FIVE SPOILERS!

So, sadly, I had the ending of Flesh and Stone ruined for me because I read some TV magazine at Jess's house, but it still took me by surprise. A couple of times, I thought, "They're going to kiss now, right?" and they didn't. I expected it to be a slow, awkward kiss ... instead, Amy just went, well, crazy and came onto him. I found it pretty hilarious, actually, how Amy's so calm while the Doctor's so flustered. It's usually the other way around. I like this.

I liked the angels, too. Blink is the only episode to date that really frightened me, and also one of my favourites. And, I won't deny it, I was really iffy about the return of the angels ... not because I don't like them - hell, I love them - but because they're so amazing, I was scared they'd be ruined (like the Daleks). But it worked, and I'm glad it did, because the angels are amazing. I love Amy in this one, too; although I love how Amy is so bold, smart and independent - unlike the other companions - I loved seeing the weaker side of her, where she's defenceless and vulnerable. Karen Gillan is such an amazing actress; she can do anything!

Although, you know how Amy can't have her eyes open for more than a second without dying? When she opened her eyes to look at the light when they're in the oxygen factory, she has them open for fourteen seconds straight. She should have died thirteen seconds before she closed her eyes, but she didn't.

Now, I'm going to go watch Flesh and Stone again to get some photostills - a few very specific ones - to turn into icons AND a background. Yes, that's right. When I was watching it, I saw this one scene and I had to bite back my squeal, because it would make such an amazing background. I've never made backgrounds before.

Wish me luck, and keep blogging!

*Oh, and Tina and Chandi.