Pre-Exam Stress

It's late, the night before my exam, and I can't sleep. My head hurts, like usual, and I'm petrified of failing tomorrow. I've studied myself into a frenzy, my friend and I quizzed each other today after school, I've done everything I possibly can to try and get everything into my overcrowded brain. I know I'm prepared, I know that I know enough to get a passing grade, but my paranoia is getting the better of me and convincing me that I know nothing and that I will fail.

I'm sorry for being such a Debbie Downer lately, and thank you so much to those of you who commented and gave me your support and kind words. You have no idea how much I appreciate it that you took the time to leave those comments for me.

The stuff going on in my head isn't something that can sort itself out overnight. I understand that you don't know what it is so you won't be able to get it, but it's something I have to come to terms with about myself and by myself. That's going to take time because I'm so confused about it, and I wish I felt comfortable enough to talk about it but I really don't. When I do, however, you -- my readers -- will be some of the first people to know.

Telling me not to worry, though I understand you have good intentions, generally only tends to make me worry more. I try not to think about whatever is worrying me which effectively only makes me more aware of it which makes me worry more. It's a vicious cycle, and one I've fallen prey to more than once.

My birthday, Megha, is on 31st January. Once my birthday is over, I will blog about it. It will either be a babble about how excited I am that it turned out alright, or an angst!fest because it got ruined. All (about why I'm dreading this birthday) will be explained in that blog post.

Right, I'm starting to feel more tired now, so I'm going to try and get some more sleep. I hope I'm not too exhausted for the exam tomorrow. See you, readers!

Nothing Eventful

"I'll try and post every other day," I said ... and then didn't post for five days.

I've been busy doing homework and, more completely, studying for my Biology GCSE (which is on Thursday! Ack!). When I'm not studying or at school, I'm sleeping or spending time on here, talking to friends. When I'm not studying, I'm just really not in the mood for blogging. I'm not now, actually, I just decided I should try and actually stick to my promise.

Aside from the fact that I'm never in the mood to blog, there's also the little factor that I have nothing to talk about. Nothing eventful is happening at school, and what is happening is top secret, tell-anyone-and-I'll-have-to-kill-you kind of stuff, so I can't exactly talk about it here.

I've been suffering with headaches, lately, too. Nothing too bad like before, not painful enough to bring my life to an abrupt halt, but I've been getting them at least twice every day for the past week or so. It's not fun.

I've had a lot of down moments over the past couple of days for several reasons. I won't go into detail but January is a bad month for me as it is, especially this year with the stress of the GCSE exam. There's also a whole lot of stuff going round in my head at the moment (stuff which, at the current time, I'm not comfortable discussing ... with anyone) which generally leads to me getting angsty when I think about it all too much.

So, my life is extremely uneventful and dull at the moment, though I hope it'll pick up soon. Exam stress will be (partially) over on Thursday, and my friend's birthday* is at the weekend so we're going to the cinema/city centre/her house. That ought to lighten my mood a bit. I'll probably post about that afterwards, so that's something to ... I don't know ... look forward to?

I suppose I'll see you all later.

*Speaking of birthdays, mine is (unfortunately) coming up. People keep nagging me about doing something for it, and I just ... do not want to.

2011 Book Count

I've started up my new blog for this year's Book Count. Again, my target is different, but there are new rules. It's a fresh start, and I'm already close to putting my first book of the year (Looking For Alaska by John Green) on there. It's funny how, last year, I'd read four books by the 3rd January. This year, it's the 6th and I've barely even finished one. However, I do have other things to think about (i.e. exams) so reading isn't my main priority.

Anyway, if you'd like to follow my 2011 Book Count blog, you can find it here. My 2010 Book Count, for anyone curious, can be found here.

I don't have much else to say, other than it's kind of late and I'm tired so I'll be going to bed now. Goodnight!

Another Full Moon

I'm gonna try and get into the habit of blogging at least every other day. I was going to blog about my first day back at school (today) but it was so boring and uneventful. Of course, I suppose it could have been more interesting if I hadn't only gotten two hours of sleep last night. Nothing is interesting when I'm exhausted.

Here's a short story I wrote months ago about Remus Lupin and the Marauders experiencing another full moon. For those unfamiliar with the Harry Potter series, Remus Lupin is a werewolf. He (Moony; Harry's 3rd Year DADA teacher), James Potter (Prongs; Harry's father), Sirius Black (Padfoot; Harry's Godfather), and Peter Pettigrew (Wormtail) were best friends at Hogwarts and they called themselves the Marauders. When Remus' friends found out about his being a werewolf, they started researching animagi. In their Fifth Year, they finally succeeded in (illegally) turning themselves into animagi (people who can change into a specific creature at will) so they could accompany Remus during the full moon.

Without any further ado, I give you, Another Full Moon:

Steph Blogs Too Less

Again, this is kind of in response to Megha's comment on my last post, but I had actually been thinking about blogging about this before I saw her comment.

Megha's right, I don't blog often enough. I used to be really good about it, too. I used to blog a fair bit. Then it slowly dwindled down to hardly blogging at all. I'm going to try and change that. Consider this my unofficial, three-days-late New Years' Resolution -- I'm going to blog more. I'm going to make a conscious effort to blog more.

See, now that I have Tumblr, I just vent/stress/scream/fangirl over there very briefly and I don't even think about blogging. That's going to change. I'm not going to stop talking about things on Tumblr, but I'm going to talk about things more here. I will. Even if I have to get my friends to kick me up the backside to do it.

I start school tomorrow and I have a Biology GCSE on the 13th, so I'm going to be cramming. You won't be hearing much from me throughout the next ten days because what time I do spend online won't be spent blogging about how much I hate school and how tiring studying can be. However, I shall keep you updated when I can.

See you soon, I suppose!