Don't Bury Me, I'm Not Yet Dead

Wow. It's ... it's been a while, huh? Oh, who am I kidding? It's been eight months. I'm absolutely awful. To be honest with you, I completely forgot this blog even existed. I got so caught up on tumblr and twitter, so absorbed by fandom love, than I forgot what it was like to just sit down and write like this. I guess I got so used to just spewing my thoughts in a mess of keysmashes and bad grammar on tumblr, in a million different posts, that I stopped appreciating this blog because it's so different.

So, hi. A lot of things have happened since April. I've read through this blog to remind myself of what you do and do not know, and I think I should talk in bulletpoints, just to sum up what you've missed, yes?

• I did end up going to counselling sessions, but they screwed me over and cancelled them a few months later ... I was there long enough for them to diagnose me with depression and anxiety, though. 
• I kind of stopped going to school completely because my headaches were getting unbearable, so now I'm a part of this amazing online school! It's fantastic and I'm finally getting education again.
• I still have those headaches, for the record.
• And a cyst in my brain. But that's not anything to worry about and it's not the cause of my headaches.
• In fact, the cause is still a mystery and the doctors have pretty much given up.
• I'm gay! Yup. Thought I was pansexual, but it turns out I'm really not into guys at all. 
• A few friends know, one of them is bi herself, but other than that, I'm still closeted.
• I still have insomnia, and it's 3:10am as I write this and I'm really tired and my brain isn't functioning properly.
• Okay, actually not that much has happened, I've spent most of this year shut up in my room so I don't have many stories to share. But that's what you missed!

I'm going to make Christmas/New Year posts when I'm more coherent, and hopefully, I might see you guys a little more often, hey? Sorry for leaving you again.

LAST BEDA FOR ANOTHER YEAR

I went shopping with my family today, to Matalan, but my nan and I had finished browsing within twenty minutes so we got my grandad and we went to my uncle's house while my mum shopped. Thing is, my mum takes hours to look through that shop, and the three of us end up bored out of our minds. So we decided to not be bored for a change. We got to my uncle's house and hung out for a bit, then me, my uncle and my little cousin went to a nearby park for a little while. It was pretty amusing because my cousin is the most adorable thing in existence and everything he does amuses me.

We went back to his house at around half four, and on the walk back, my uncle decided to pester me about boys. How about no. It wasn't too bad, though. Anyway, a little while after we got back, my aunt went to pick my mum up and they got fish&chips while they were out. I just had chips. Just as we finished dinner, Doctor Who started, so we sat down and watched that. It was amazing, but my cousin was being pretty loud so I want to re-watch it on BBC iPlayer before the next episode airs.

Then we played Wii Fit for a while, which was hilarious, before my grandparents, mum and I headed home. It's been a pretty good day. Now I'm sitting in my room, it's almost midnight, and I'm watching Hercules. One of the best Disney movies ever? Oh, definitely.

Starkid's newest musical, Starship, is being uploaded onto YouTube later tonight, but it'll be 3AM here so I don't know if I'll watch it tonight or tomorrow. I'm pretty tired, so I might just call it a night. I'm tempted to set my alarm so I wake up before it's uploaded, but I don't know, I might just not bother. I'm pretty psyched for it, though.

Tomorrow, Mum and I are probably going to re-watch the X-Men movies, so that should be fun. I'm a total action movie lover. I adore them.

Anyway, I'm going to get out of your hair and get back to watching Hercules. BEDA is over, but I'll try to blog more often than usual in future months. I owe you eleven drabbles, and I'm going to try and make some of them original fiction, though some will inevitably be fanfiction. So if you could send me some prompts, I'd really appreciate it.

See you guys!

The Royal Wedding

I didn't watch the Royal Wedding, I was still asleep by the time it was over and I had no interest in watching it anyway, however my grandad made us keep the news on, so I ended up seeing about half an hour's worth of clips from the entire thing. So I basically watched a condensed version of the ceremony. It was ... I don't know, kind of interesting, I suppose. The hats some of the people were wearing were hilarious.

Before the news, we watched Bridge to Terabithia, and afterwards, we watched Labyrinth. They're two of my favourite movies and my family really enjoyed them. They're both very fantastical, and they're great.

I forgot to blog yesterday. Yeah, I know, I'm a complete failure. But, hey, there's only one more day left! I don't know why I tell myself to do BEDA, I always know I'll probably fail, and I have to literally force myself into blogging sometimes. Alas, I'm a sucker for competition, even if I end up not trying very hard, and it's kind of fun. I owe you a ton of drabbles now, though. Huh.

I have two graphics waiting to be completed, so I'm going to say goodbye and get back to that. See you tomorrow!

Glee Twins Manip: Fabray Twins 02

Glee Twins Manip: Fabray Twins 01

Stupid, Stupid, Stupid

If it weren't for the 'Drabbles IOU', I would have lost count on how many days I've missed this month. Ten. And I still have five days to go -- oh lordy.

On Saturday, I went to my uncle's house for a BBQ. We watched Doctor Who (absolutely amazing! cannot wait for next week!) and then Glee (Mum missed it last Monday), and I had a lot of fun. My uncle and I are like one in the same -- we have so much in common, it's crazy. He's great.

I ... genuinely don't have much to say. I go back to school tomorrow, we're in for three days and then we have Friday off because of the Royal Wedding. No matter where you go now, the wedding is there. There's merch, the bride and groom's faces, just everything. It's pathetic. I don't even care about the Royal Wedding. I mean, sure, they're in love and getting married, that's great. But I'm not going to celebrate it because I don't care about them. It's just yet another over-hyped upper-class heterosexual ceremony, and the media wouldn't give a monkey's backside if the groom wasn't ~royalty. When they legalise same-sex marriage, then I'll bloody celebrate.

Anyway, I have to go. The shower is calling. See you tomorrow!

Drabbles IOU: 10

Not-So-Good Friday

Yesterday, I went out with Owen and got Deathly Hallows Part 1 on DVD, so after a couple of hours of wandering round the city centre, we went back to my house and watched it. Then he hung around until 6:30PM and ate dinner with me and my family before his mum picked him up. Jess was meant to come with us, too, but she bailed on us at the last minute. Once Owen had left, I didn't blog because I went to bed pretty quickly. My ankles really hurt (stupid weak joints) and I just wanted to forget about them ... so I went to bed.

Today, I went to a local lake with my mum, her best friend, and her best friend's daughter. It was boring, and the sun made my head a thousand times worse than it already was. We were there for over four hours and I hated every second of it. It was torture. And now my head is murdering me so I just want to get into bed and sleep it off. I feel terrible ... all because my mother forced me into going out today in this "beautiful" weather. I hate the sun. I really do.

We had a "picnic" (I use the term loosely) and sat beside the water, where noisy children and their parents decided it was a good idea to throw entire loaves of bread to the ducks. How those ducks aren't the size of barrels by now is beyond me. How my head didn't explode from the pain caused by laughing, screaming, shouting infants is also a mystery to me. I spent a lot of the time reading There's No Place Like Here by Cecelia Ahern and eating mints, and when my mum we should call a taxi and go home, the relief I felt is unexplainable. I think it's safe to say I will never let my mum take me outside in summer weather ever again.

This is why I prefer winter (although I'm not fond of it) -- no one judges or complains about you when you refuse to go outside. It's considered sane to want to stay out of the cold. Why is it such an absurd thing for someone to want to avoid the heat of the sun? Why don't people consider "the sun makes my head hurt" or "I burn easily" proper, reasonable reasons to stay inside on a hot day? It doesn't make any sense. It's not fair.

On another note, it's Good Friday, and when we got home, Mum gave me my Easter present -- a Galaxy egg with three large Galaxy chocolate bars (normal, cookie crumble, and caramel). It made me slightly less angrier than her. I have a slight addiction to Galaxy chocolate.

Um, yeah, so looking at the computer screen kind of really hurts so I'm just going to ... stop it here. See you guys tomorrow, I guess.

Drabbles IOU: 8

Glee Twins Manip: Berry Twins 01

Elisabeth Sladen

This blog post is going to be really short because I'm feeling pretty down and I don't want to type a lot. I just want to curl up beneath a blanket with a cup of tea and book, my cat sleeping at my feet. I really, really just want to escape. So I'm going to be blunt and to the point and quick.

Elisabeth Sladen has died. For those of you who don't know her, or don't recognise her name, she played Sarah Jane Smith in Doctor Who -- and then again in The Sarah Jane Smith Adventures. She passed away earlier today and rumours of her death began circulating social networking sites within the past few hours. I Googled it, and an article said it had yet to be confirmed. Less than twenty minutes later, BBC News confirmed her death and was the first news station to report it. 

I'm a big Doctor Who fan. I love it with a burning passion and I always will. It's a fantastic show, a really great mix of hilarity and thrill, with it's heartbreaking serious moments, too. While I haven't watched any of the earlier series (pre-ninth doctor), which was when she was a companion, I've seen the episodes where Elisabeth reprised her role and came back for an episode or two at a time. I love her and her character. 

Her death hasn't really sunk in yet, I can't cry, I feel kind of numb ... but it's hit me. I miss her already. She's (was?) as an amazing, amazing person and she's going to be missed so much. Her last episode on Doctor Who was called 'Goodbye Sarah Jane Smith', which is just a slap to the face right now. It's so relevant, so perfect, almost like it was planned ... but it hurts.

*sigh*

RIP Elisabeth Sladen. You will never be forgotten

Drabbles IOU: 7

You Dun Goof'd, Nicole

I am the worst. I have the most terrible memory ever, and the biggest tendency to procrastinate ever. I'm awful. I know. Hate me. Earlier, I looked at the clock and saw I had two hours left to blog. I thought, "Okay, I'm going to read a chapter of my book, get some hot chocolate, and then type up a blog post." but by the time I'd finished that chapter and got some hot chocolate, it completely left my mind. It's past midnight now, and I'm in the middle of making a manip, but I realised the time, facepalmed, and decided to blog now so I don't forget later today.

Today (or, I suppose, yesterday), an extra from Glee got fired. On her Twitter, she announced a massive spoiler for the next episode (which airs on Tuesday) without the writers' permission. Now, a lot of extras are known for sharing spoilers. Little teasers and irrelevant snippets of plotlines that get us excited for future episodes, but nothing that really spoils us and would get the extra in trouble. I don't really follow spoilers. If I see them on my tumblr dash, that's fine, but I don't go out of my way to look for them or make an effort to find out the latest goss. I prefer to watch the episode with as little knowledge as possible. That's fine, that suits me, but some people do like finding out the latest spoilers. Most extras provide those spoilers without revealing anything too big. However, Nicole Crowther took it to the next level.

The tweet has since been deleted, but she told her 3,000+ followers on Twitter (and their followers on both twitter and tumblr, it went viral on both sites) who would be elected Prom Queen and Prom King in the next episode. If you don't watch Glee or didn't see the tweet, you wouldn't understand why this is such a big deal. However, let me tell you, it's a huge plot twist that is extremely unexpected, and the writers (who I'll refer to as RIB from here on in -- Ryan Ian Brad) wanted to keep it under wraps.

Brad Falchuk, one of the writers, saw the tweet and publicly called her out/blacklisted her/fired her, with these two tweets:

The Glee fandom went crazy. People sent her messages, mostly insulting, some sympathetic. Some fans (myself included) were furious at what she'd done. You'd think it'd get better from here, right? You'd think Brad and Nicole would talk and solve things in a sensible manner, yes? Oh, I wish they had. A little while after Brad sent those tweets, Nicole sent an empty apology that sounded like something you'd find on a hallmark card. 

Within five minutes, while the fandom was laughing bitterly at the fake abrupt tone of her response, that tweet was deleted. She then started throwing herself a little pity party, retweeting sympathetic tweets. I think this is when most people started getting angry, because she was acting like a child.

Again, these retweets were deleted within minutes of being retweeted. Nicole probably thought she'd gotten away with it, but I don't think she realises how fast the Glee fandom can be -- as always, we capped her ridiculous act before she could get rid of the evidence, and now we have photographic proof, even if the original evidence was deleted. It was around this time, maybe a little earlier, that the Glee fandom decided to get #BradIsOurKing a trending topic. I don't actually know if we managed that or not, but I spent quite a long time just looking through the tag and seeing what people had to say. It was pretty interesting. Anyway, upon deleting the rude retweets, the next thing she tweeted was her original explanation for posting the spoiler. I responded to it.

By this point, I -- among plenty of others -- was livid. I posted the above screencap on tumblr, and added this to it:

It’s genuinely surprising me how polite I’m being right now. I’m pissed off because I can’t help thinking … if that was me, if I’d spent months planning this great controversial plot twist that’ll shock every single viewer, if I thought we’d be able to keep this twist under wraps, and then someone I trusted spoiled it and told thousands of fans about it, I would be raging. And just putting myself in RIB’s shoes is enough to make me furious. I want to scream.

As a writer and a very empathetic person, it didn't take much for me to understand how RIB must be feeling right now. Not only did Nicole break her contract with Glee/FOX, she broke RIB's trust, and she ruined something that they were really anticipating (the audience's reaction the Prom Queen and King). She deleted that tweet before going through her blog and deleting everything she'd posted since early April, including the big spoiler. We didn't hear anything from her for a couple of hours, we starting thinking about other things, we began moving on ...

And then she tweeted again.

Now, while this sounds more genuine, I highly doubt she means it. After retweeting tweets that were bashing Brad, after deleting her initial apology, after saying she didn't want to be a part of the show anymore, it's very difficult to believe she's actually sorry for posting the spoiler.

Acting like the victim was a really low move. None of us had actually been bullying her -- expressing our rage,  inquiring why she did it, questioning her motives ... sure. But none of us had been harassing her or attacking her. Most of the nastier tweets weren't tagged with her username, so she wouldn't have seen them unless she went looking (and if she did, then it's her own fault). And, yes, I admit -- sometimes certain members of the fandom can take things a few steps too far, but I wouldn't say any of us were bullying her. Glee has taught us a lot, and none of us would ever dream of bullying someone. Acting like the victim made me even angrier.

Then she replies to this message, changing her original reason behind tweeting the spoiler. Originally, she said she didn't want to be an extra anymore -- like she made a totally sane decision to post the spoiler in order to get fired. Now she's blaming it on the alcohol, like it was accident and she didn't mean to post it. However, if she didn't mean to post it, then she didn't want to get fired, which goes against what she originally said and later deleted. Makes sense, right? No. In other words, she's making excuses.

This entire situation has been a mix of amusing (the hilarious comments made by people I follow on tumblr) and infuriating (what Nicole has been doing has annoyed me to no end). It's starting to die down, but seeing how this day has been, I wouldn't be surprised if Nicole tweeted something stupid or Brad @replied her something really sharp and witty, which will set the entire fandom aflame and get them going crazy.

All I know is that I'm sick of Nicole Crowther and she deserves everything that gets thrown her way for being so stupid -- unemployment, lawsuit, blacklisted from the entertainment industry. If she can't be trusted as an extra whose character doesn't even have a name, she can't be trusted as anything more, either. You go against your contract, you get sued and fired instantly. That's how things work. 

Drabbles IOU: 7

Wales: Day Three/Four/Five

So I may or may not have completely forgotten about blogging. On Wednesday, I got into bed and remembered about blogging just as I was about to fall asleep. I remembered it in the morning, and promised myself I'd blog yesterday, but I had to leave the guest house quickly and I forgot about it afterwards. But here I am, on Friday, back at home, blogging.

Wednesday was a pretty dull day and can be summed up in one paragraph. The weather was miserable so we stayed inside the entire day, doing crosswords and reading and drinking tea and watching TV. You would have thought I'd have squeezed blogging in there, too, right? Alas, I'm an idiot, and I forgot. So ... that was how I spent Wednesday.

On Thursday, we went to a small town about twenty minutes away by bus, and we shopped. It was pretty fun, actually. We got gifts for most of our immediate/close family and friends, Mum got some clothes, I got a purple hoodie. We had lunch in an ADORABLE little coffee shop called Perky. It had forty-seven (yes, forty-seven, I counted) milkshake flavours, which is nothing compared to what you can get here in a little milkshake shop called Shakeaway, but for a normal cafe, it's pretty impressive. I had a ham, cheese and tomato panini, which was absolutely delicious. My pineapple milkshake was pretty damn tasty, too.

Once we finished shopping, we headed back to Criccieth ... and, hey, I'm not there any more, so I don't mind telling you which town I was staying in. We went to the pub for dinner, and it kind of sucked, but the onion rings were scrummy. Then we went back to the room and started packing, I drunk at least four cans of Diet Coke, and my mum had vodka. There was an honesty bar downstairs so we just kept going to get more all night.

Today, we had breakfast, finished packing, and then headed to the train station, which was just down the road from where we were staying. Hopped on the train, spent four hours staring out the window, writing stories in my head, reading, and solving Sudokus. We then got off the train at Birmingham, got a drink and wasted an hour, before heading to our next train. We sat on it for ten minutes without it moving, and then the train was cancelled because the train manager hadn't shown up. So we had to rush from Platform 4 to Platform 2 (which involves going up one set of stairs and down another ... with a heavy suitcase in my hand) to catch a train that was declassified and adjusted to suit the passengers of the original train.

Mum and I ended up standing between two carriages amongst six other people because there weren't any spare seats, and when people started getting off the train, we didn't dare move in case someone got to the spare seats before us and we would have just had to move back to where we were before. At one point, however, about thirty people left (through the door we were next to) so we managed to snag a seat for the rest of the ride.

Then, after an hour on that train, we finally got where we wanted to be, so we left and waited for my grandad to pick us up. We came home, had pizza for dinner, watched Neighbours, and I've done nothing but hang out on the internet since.

Half an hour until the end of the day, so I'd better post this. Pictures will come later, when I can find the lead that connects the laptop to the camera. Please dear god, don't say I've left it in Wales.

Drabbles IOU: 5

Wales: Day Two

I really should start blogging earlier in the day. I'm a procrastinator, leaving things until the last minute (or in this case, thirty-three minutes) is what I do.

Today has been a pretty fun day. We woke up and had breakfast (in which I was quite content eating a bowl of cereal but Mum made me eat a slice of toast, too) before setting out. We went to the beach, which was literally a  two/three minute walk from the guest house (we're across the street from it, but we have to walk down the street a little way and along a little side-street thing to actually access it) and empty except for one other family. It's pretty rocky but we walked along it for a while and I got some gorgeous pictures of the ocean. We found a little stream-like thing further back on the beach, by the back wall, and it was really cute but it got my mum's feet soaked. I slipped on one of the rocks and grazed my hand, but it's alright now.

So we went to a cute little café* just off the beach and sat down outside with tea (for me) and coffee (for mum). It was really nice and peaceful. Once we finished our drinks, we began walking up one street to get to the town's castle ruins, and it's a very steep street. This is probably TMI, but I'm on my period right now, and when I'm on period, I get a lot of discomfort in my lower stomach. That discomfort turns into pain if I push myself too much, and then my joints start getting weak and I start feeling faint. I got pain on the coach yesterday from sitting in the wrong position for too long. The discomfort started as I climbed up this street. You can probably tell where this is going.

We got the mini-gift shop/reception desk and we paid our entry fee to the castle. We then had to walk up a MASSIVE hill with steep steps to get to the castle ruins, and while it was extremely gorgeous, it took ten minutes to get up there and only five to look around. In which time, my stomach got worse. When we'd gone round the entire ruins, my joints were feeling weak and my stomach was killing me. So I very carefully but very desperately made my way down and my knee gave out twice along the way. We went into the gift shop and I desperately bounced back and forth to distract myself from the pain while Mum oohed and aahed over things. We ended up getting an adorable little lamb teddy, some slate coasters for my grandparents, and a couple of postcards.

We then began making our way back to the guest house and, even though it only took a few minutes, I felt like I was dying. My knees kept giving way and at one point, I had to sit down before I crumpled in a weak mess on the ground. We got there in the end, and crap I just noticed I only have five minutes until the end of the day quick Steph type faster, and then had to climb the TWO flights of stairs to get to our room.

I curled up in bed and dozed for an hour, then Mum woke me up as it came closer to one and I was feeling kind of better so we went out for lunch. We went to a cute little* ice cream shop that we'd passed on the way to castle, and had cheese and ham toasties. I had two vanilla milkshakes (because I finished the first one before we got our toasties) and my stomach still kind of ached so I didn't finish my toastie. We'll probably end up going back there and getting ice-cream at some point during the week.

We then got some bits and bobs (three minutes left!) from the pharmacy and a load of junk food from a nearby supermarket-type thing. We also went to a crystal shop, which I want to go into detail about but we only have two minutes left so I'll blog about that later and just say that I bought seven crystals.

We spent the rest of the day indoors, relaxing and eating junk food for dinner. It's now nearing midnight, my mum has been in bed for nearly three hours, and I should probably think about going soon. One minute! Crap, I'd better post this. See you tomorrow!

*Just about everything in this town is cute and little. I love it here.

Wales: Day One

Today has been pretty tedious, I'm not gonna lie. I got an hour of sleep and then had to sit on a train for five hours. I had stomach pains, discomfort, tralala. It wasn't fantastic. I watched an episode and a half of Gossip Girl, but I didn't read the multi-chap fic because my head was pretty bad.

We went to the guest house we booked a room in, and it's extremely friendly and homely and I love it here. We're staying just across the road from the ocean so it's pretty windy but the view is gorgeous. We had fish and chips for dinner, which was delicious, and now we're settled in our room, Mum in bed and me in a really comfortable brown chair, watching Friends and waiting for Glee to start (ten minutes!). It's Blame It On The Alcohol (2x14) and I LOVE this episode.

I'm kind of annoyed that I haven't gotten the chance to speak to Katie yet, because she hasn't been allowed on the computer since Thursday and I miss her like crazy and I missed my chance to speak to her today. Hopefully we'll be able to talk tomorrow, though.

So ...

I'm really tired and Glee is going to start soon, so I think I'm just gonna go and get into bed. See you tomorrow! Hopefully I'll be more awake when I blog tomorrow, and I'll be able to type more.

Type Steph Type!

I have thirteen minutes to write and publish thia blog post, so this is going to be really short. I was going to blog earlier but I had to have a shower and it slipped my mind.

I'm all packed for Wales, aside from things that need to be put in last-minute (i..e toothbrush, laptop charger, etc.), and we're just about set to go. I've got things to do on the train to keep me entertained, too. I'm going to let a couple of episodes of Gossip Girl load before we leave, so I can watch it even without internet connection ... and there's a multi-chap fic that I want to read so I'm going to open all of the chapters in seperate tabs so I can read it all.

Have you ever sat in front of your computer with the intention of writing, and you have a bunch of ideas to write down and you want to get it down quickly because you're really psyched about it? And then you put your fingers on the keys, and the ideas just drain out the side of your head? So you stare at the screen blankly for several minutes, wondering what you were going to do?

That's happened to me several times over the past few months in regards to creative writing, but it also happened right now, with this blog post. I knew what I wanted to write when I opened the tab, but I've hit a blank and cannot remember a thing.

And so, with five minutes to spare, I have managed to acheive yet another day of BEDA.

Drabbles IOU: 3

Aloha Cousin!

There are twenty minutes left until midnight and I'm half-way through watching an episode of Glee, but alas, I must blog! From here on in, I've decided to avoid talking about how crap I feel and focus on the positives. At least until April is over, anyway.

Today, I got up way past lunch time and watched Lilo&Stitch, Lilo&Stitch 2, and Stitch! The Movie with my little cousin. We were going to watch Leroy and Stitch as well but he would have been picked up before the movie finished so we didn't see the point.

I love the Lilo & Stitch movies. I always have, and I always will. I was actually obsessed with Elvis when I was younger because of these movies. They're great. There's something about them that never fails to get old, even if I watched them a million times in a row. Whenever I'm bored and nothing seems to interest me, I'll usually turn to Lily & Stitch. And, without fail, they'll brighten my mood.

We had Chinese for dinner, which is awesome, because my love for Chinese food is ridiculously strong but we don't eat it often. So every time we do decide to get Chinese, it's awesome.

Tomorrow, I'm going to spend the day packing for my trip and downloading as much Glee music as I can so that I can listen to it during my holiday. I only have about thirty songs, which just isn't right, so I'm going to make amends.

And with four minutes left, I shall publish this post and leave you to dream sweet dreams and stuff.

Holiiiidayyy

So I've failed BEDA. Whatever. I knew I wouldn't manage it. I just feel really blech right now.

I'm going on a trip to Wales next week with my mum, and we're going to spend the week beside the sea, in a very quiet area, relaxing and stuff. I'll have internet connection in the guest house we're staying in, but my time on the computer will be limited to a couple of hours a day. I'll try to blog daily, but it will probably just be telling you about my day.

I really just want to curl up and rest my eyes right now, and I really really really have nothing to blog about aside from telling you about my holiday, so I'm just going to ... end it here. This blog is ridiculously short, I know, but hey, at least I'm blogging.

See you guys later, I guess.

Drabbles IOU: 3

Glee Twins Manip: Lopez Twins 02

Glee Twin Manips: The Lopez Twins 01

100th Blog Post like yeah~

So, I didn't blog yesterday. What an even better start to BEDA, eh? I'm doing really great so far. Okay, so, I woke up at 8AM because I had an appointment with my GP, then I went to bed at 3PM because I felt like crap, got up at 5PM to eat dinner, went back to bed at 6PM, and didn't wake up until lunch time today. That's why I didn't blog yesterday. As it is, I've already been back to bed since then, I'm exhausted, and I feel awful. I don't want to blog. But I'm forcing myself to type something out to save myself from having to write, like, twenty drabbles at the end of the month.

This is my 100th post, but I seriously cannot bring myself to care right now and think of something better to do. So I'm not going to do anything for my 100th. I'm just going to ... talk. In bulletpoints.

• Glee comes back on the 19th. 
• Doctor Who comes back on the 23rd!
• It's three of my friends' birthday on the 6th.
• Jess turns 14 on the 27th.
• I'm on seizure pills for my headaches
• The beta-blockers I was on weren't doing anything and the next course of action would have been anti-depressants
• But they might toy with my mood and the doctor wants to assess me for depression before putting me on anti-depressants, and if my mood changed, it'd be harder to assess me correctly.
• They're going to contact this counselling thing
• I don't want to talk to a bloody counsellor
• I want people to just leave me alone
• Ugh
• Whatever

I can't be bothered to write any more. I'm tired, I feel like crap, and I just want to curl in a hole and die. Ugh. Sorry for being a little ball of angst. I just ... yeah whatever.

Drabbles I Owe You: 1

Knight In Tattered Armour

It's the first day of April, first day of BEDA, and I have no idea what to blog about. My next blog will be my 100th and I still don't know what to do for it. This page has been open for almost two hours now and ... I just don't know what to write. So, uh, have a song recommendation. I give you Fairytale Ending by Brock Baker.

You are the damsel in distress
And I am nothing less
Than your knight in tattered armour
So take my hand
And we will run through the open fields 

I've had the song on a loop for days. Brock Baker has the voice of an angel and the song is so, so beautiful. I absolutely adore it and I think you might like it. It's genuinely amazing.

Sorry that this is such a sucky start to BEDA, I'm just really exhausted and out of ideas and I have nothing to say. I'll try to change that as the month goes on, but be warned, song recommendations will be my go-to idea when I'm at a loss for words. What an awesome way to start the month, right? [/sarcasm]

B E D A

April is almost upon us and BEDA is only just out of our reach. Just like last year, I will be doing BEDA. For those of you who are unaware, BEDA stands for Blog Every Day in April, in which thousands of bloggers dedicate their time into writing at least one blog post a day for the thirty days that make up April. There's another variation of this called VEDA, Vlog Every Day in April, in which vloggers make and upload a video every day.

I can't promise I'll remember to blog every day. I might get tired and decide to turn in early without blogging, or maybe my head will be particularly nasty and it hurts too much to use the laptop, or maybe I'll just be my idiotic self and let it slip my mind. However, I vow to attempt to blog every day in April, and for every single day I may or may not miss, I will write a drabble and post it in May. That's a promise.

Now, onto my day. I had a blood test this morning and the nurse missed the vein at first so I have two puncture holes in the crook of my elbow that look like I've been bitten by a snake. I'm already sporting a lovely bruise, too. Have I ever mentioned that I'm aichmophobic? Yes, I have. I was terrified. My results should be here within a day or two.

The rest of my day has been rather dull, except for maybe the last couple of hours. I sent Dominic Barnes, a Warbler on Glee and a really amazing person, a message. He replied. I fangirled. Katie and I were unable to form coherent sentences. The excitement slowly decreased. Here I am.

I got a letter in the post with my exam dates. I have three GCSEs at the beginning of May, and one at the beginning of June. Do you have any idea how close that is? My first exam is in, like, forty days. I've missed so much school and I can never concentrate and I have forty days for my headache to decrease enough that I concentrate so I can study and catch up and have a chance at passing. It'll be hopeless. I'll fail. I'll probably have a breakdown in the examination hall. I'm screwed.

However, I have a meeting tomorrow with my form teacher and head of year about adjusting my timetable and twisting things up to make it easier for me to cope with school. I'm going in at 9AM with my mum and we're going to discuss it. So that should be ... productive.

I'll see you guys later, I guess.

Seeing Double and Drawing Closer

On Tumblr, it's become a sort of craze to make photomanipulations of the characters from Glee to make it seem as though they have twins. I jumped on the bandwagon a few days ago. It's really fun and a welcome distraction from everything that's going on, and I've made nine so far. They're not completely terrible. Four of them have been posted on Tumblr, along with little drabbles, but Tumblr is currently messing up and I only made the other five recently so I haven't had the chance to upload them. I thought I could post them here; I'm going to post one manip a day, along with the accompanying drabble, and it'd be awesome if you could give your feedback.

In other news, I'm ridiculously close to my 100th post (this is my 97th!) and I want to do something special when I reach that milestone. I was thinking that maybe you could send in questions (about my blog, my life, my fandoms, my writing, my graphics) for me to answer, and I'd put them all into one post. I'd probably end up asking people on other sites (tumblr, deviantART, etc.) as well, since I'm pretty sure Megha's the only one of my followers who still reads this blog. Hey, it's worth a shot, though, right? If you have any better suggestions on what I could do for my 100th post, your input would be greatly appreciated.

Another thing I've been thinking about lately is what I use this blog for. This blog is still primarily somewhat of a journal, a place where I write about my thoughts and my theories while keeping you updated on my life at the same time. However, would you mind if I posted more creative things more often? Drabbles, snippets of longer pieces of writing, icons, banners (both old and new). I've shared my writing on here a few times before, and same goes with the banners, but this blog was never really meant for that. However, I think it'd be nice if I could share those things with you more often.

I was also thinking, maybe, of recommending songs and videos that I really like and/or touch me somehow. Lately, I've found a lot of songs that I've really fallen in love with and while my normal outlet for things like that would be tumblr, tumblr almost always already knows about these songs. On tumblr, posts get lost behind posts, and within minutes, my tiny recommendation will mean nothing. This site works differently, however, and my recommendations won't get buried so quickly. I think it would be really nice. Let me know if you'd be into that kind of thing. It's just an idea at this point, I still may not go through with it, but I'd like to.

Let's kick it off with a song to end the post, shall we? I want to show you Glee's cover of Lady Antebellum's Need You Now, sung by Lea Michele and Mark Salling.

 Another shot of whiskey

Can't stop looking at the door

Wishing you'd come sweeping in

The way you did before

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind

For me, it happens all the time

I've had it on repeat for the majority of the day and I think it's a really wonderful song. When I first heard it, I admit, I didn't think much of it. I didn't dislike it necessarily but it didn't do anything for me. I wasn't in love with it. I can't remember when, but I got it stuck in my head a while ago. When you get songs stuck in your head, it usually ends up frustrating you, right? In this case, it's made me fall head over heels. I haven't been able to stop listening to it. Lea and Mark's voices fit together so beautifully and I really hope we get more duets from them in future episodes of Glee.

New Look

As you can see, I've changed the blog up a bit. Okay, a lot. I got tired of the newborn-chic pale yellow background and the title-less banner so I got rid of it. This one's a bit dark -- to put it lightly -- but I kind of like it. I'll probably end up changing it again soon, but hey, we'll see.

No More Avoiding

 While I have been blogging recently, I've purposely been avoiding blogging about me. I've posted story snippets, rants I posted on tumblr weeks ago, but I've avoided making personal posts. I don't want you guys to worry and I don't want to make a fuss. But you deserve to know.

I'm ill. And by that, I don't mean oh-hey-I-have-a-virus. I mean, I'm ill. Something is wrong with me. I don't know what's causing it, but I've had a headache for three months. The only time I can escape it is when I sleep, which I'm not doing much of. These headaches aren't just your normal, easily handled headaches either. They're migraines, I guess. I've missed so much school because I'm too sensitive to light and sound, I can't manage a full week in school, I never know how bad my head is going to be when I wake up. I'm a mess. We've seen various doctors about it and I've been put on beta-blockers. I've been taking them for ten days but they're doing nothing, so I'm seeing my GP on Saturday 2nd April to sort it out. I'm probably going to be put on anti-depressants.

Speaking of which, my family and I are 99.9% sure that I'm clinically depressed. My family think it's because I keep getting ill and I'm missing school (illness can cause depression), but in January, I did a bucket load of research and I've been showing some of the symptoms since September. It got worse in November, and again after Christmas, but people only started noticing recently. I only started suspecting it about a month and a half before everyone else. However, because of everything that's going on, the doctors can't test me for depression. I don't know why. They just can't.

Next Wednesday, I have a blood test because I'm starting to run out of iron tablets and my doctor wants to check my blood before giving me more. I'm anaemic for the record. Which is why I'm taking iron tablets.

Next Thursday, I have an appointment with my form teacher and head of year to see if the school can do anything to help me. Changing my time table, dropping subjects, leaving school earlier, having catch-up lessons ... things like that. I have five GCSE exams in less than two months and I've barely been in school this year because I'm so screwed up, so I really need to sort things out.

So, long story short, I'm stressed, depressed, ill, and just really sick of everything right now. I'm not writing this in search of sympathy or anything. I just want to be honest with you and keep you up to date.

I hope you're all doing okay. I love you all. Don't worry about me.

The LGBTQ side of Glee

The things I feel for Santana right now are just insane. Next to Kurt, she’s always been my favourite character. When I first started watching Glee and I wasn’t sure if I liked it, it was her and Kurt that I enjoyed seeing the most. That still hasn’t changed, but now I love Glee and … yeah.

I think Santana, Kurt, Blaine, and Karofsky are the only Glee characters I will ever refer to as “my baby” because they’re the characters I can empathise with (if not relate to) and connect with. Since the hiatus ended, I have seen crazy amounts of development from each of these characters.


With Karofsky, we were finally able to see him affected by people mentioning homosexuality. We saw how insecure he was. Not only has Kurt matured a lot (by helping Blaine with Jeremiah instead of wrecking everything like he would have done with Finn), but we’ve also discovered just how insecure he is about sex. It’s finally out and in the open that Blaine isn’t a knight in shining armour because he sucks at romance — there was also the whole “finding himself” plot in 2x14.


Seeing all of these developments have affected me in different ways, but none of them impacted me as much Santana has done in Sexy (S02E15). I am so ridiculously proud of her.


I know what it’s like to be confused about your sexuality, to want to shy away from labels altogether but still find out who you really are. And it’s scary. God, scratch that, it’s downright terrifying. You just want to shut everyone out, along with your emotions, and just not feel for a while. Although Kurt had it rough once he came out, he’s genuinely lucky to never truly go through the whole discovery process. He always knew. Hell, his dad knew before he did. He’s just always been the gay kid.


But Santana, she shut people out and she became the bitch because she was scared of people discovering how she felt. She didn’t like what she was feeling. She was scared of it. And now she’s finally realised that she can’t run any more, that she is in love with Brittany, and to actually admit that outloud … I am just so proud of her.


I rarely want things to happen on Glee. I have hopes, naturally, but I wouldn’t be upset if they didn’t play out. There are only two things I want from Glee right now.


One, for Brittany to come to her senses and realise that she loves Santana so much more than she loves Artie. And to act on those feelings. Santana has suffered such an internal battle, and making her suffer even more is just cruel. She deserves love.


And two, I want Karofsky to reach the point that Santana has finally gotten to. And by that, I don’t mean walking up to Kurt and saying “I’m sorry. I love you. Be my boyfriend.” I just want him to realise that he can’t keep running and that his feelings for Kurt aren’t anything to be ashamed of. He, like Santana, became a nasty person because he didn’t want to face his feelings. He tortured Kurt because he was terrified. And over acceptance from Azimio and his family and the school, I want him to be able to accept himself.


… I think that’s all I wanted to say.

Anger Me and Feel My Wrath

So, a little while ago on Tumblr, I made the following post:

I'd seen something on my dashboard and it infuriated me, and the use of the words "retard" and "nigga" have been bugging me for an insanely long time so I snapped and made a post about it. Not a minute later, some idiot had the audacity to leave me a message in my ask box. This message contained one word. That one word was enough to make me downright furious.

It wasn't just the use of the word retard that riled me up, it was knowing that this idiot had gone out of his or her way to anger me. They saw my post and decided to piss me off by leaving that particular word in my ask box. As you can see, I told them to fuck off. No one has unfollowed me yet, but I'm waiting for it.

I am slowly but steadily losing faith in humanity. Is this really what we've been reduced to? Purposefully going out of their way to infuriate others? Calling people names just because they know it'll get them worked up? To see what they say?

I really, really hate this world sometimes. It's disgusting. This anon is disgusting. That word is disgusting.

And I needed to rant. Now I have ranted. I shall let you get back to your life.

Do You Like Me?

Fandom: Glee
Ship: Kurt Hummel/Blaine Anderson
For: Shuffle Challenge
Inspired By: Do You Like Me by ALL CAPS

Do you like me, yes or no?
Do you think that I'm cute?
Would you date me?
You can say maybe
I just have to know

I've been ill!

And I'm really tired and not in the mood to write a long-ass explanation/catch-up post, so I'm going to bulletpoint everything that has happeend since my last post.

• I had a migraine and missed around three weeks of school.
• I turned fourteen.
• I had a blood test and I've been diagnosed with anaemia.
• I'm taking iron tablets for the anaemia.
• Glee Hiatus ended.
• I got the dates for my next GCSEs (five exams towards the end of the school year)
• I got selected, along with fourteen other students, to go to Longrigg activity centre because we're the smartest in the year at English. We'll have intensive English lessons an hour a day, and the trip lasts for five days. It's to try and raise us to level eight standard.
• February has been a beautiful, beautiful month for Glee/Klaine/Darren Criss fans. We've been spoiled
  + Darren Criss on Ellen
  + Chris Colfer on Regis&Kelly
  + Sue Sylvester Superbowl and Silly Love Songs two days apart
  + New Darren Criss photoshoots one of which is really suggestive
  + And more
• I'm struggling to think of anything else
• So I'll just leave this here

When I feel like actually blogging again, I will. I'm sorry. I'm just really exhausted.

Did I Set That Off?

Right. So. The last thing I should be doing right now is blogging. I have a killer headache, like the one I had back in October(or was it November?). The one that lasted two and a half weeks? Yeah. It's like that. I convinced my mum to let me stay off school yesterday and my nan convinced her to let me have today off, too. I feel like crap, I can't look at the screen for longer than a couple of minutes at a time, and I hate it. I don't know how I managed to write that post about Darren yesterday but let me tell you, it took a very long time.

I realised I hadn't actually blogged about how things were going, so I decided I should tell you while waiting for the first episode of Gossip Girl to load.

The Biology exam was okay. I was really nervous beforehand. I couldn't stop shaking and I felt like I wanted to throw up, but I stomached it and sat the exam and all was fine and dandy. I'm reluctant to say that I think I've possibly scraped a B, just in case I completely fail it, but that's what I'm hoping for -- if I get a B or higher, I'll be happy.

On Saturday, my friend Shannon turned fourteen. She was my best friend from birth until the age of eleven and it was the first time I'd been round her house in two years -- it was scarily nostalgic. Abby, Alex and Jess came round my house at eleven and we went to Shannon's at twelve. From there, we caught a bus to the cinema where we watched the third Narnia movie in 3D. I love Narnia.

It was kind of suffocating because there were seven other girls and I'm just not comfortable around females. I'm comfortable around guys, most of my friends are guys, I can be happy around guys. With girls, there's too many high-heels and skirts and too much make-up and gossip. It's disgusting. Nauseating. Awful. I hate it.  However, I suffered the grueling task of hanging out with those seven girls and lived to tell the tale.

We then came back to town where we separated briefly, Abby, Alex, Jess and I returning to my house for a few hours while the others went to Shannon's. At seven, we went back to Shannon's, where we ate dinner and played Just Dance on the Wii for three hours until it was time to leave. Abby and Alex got picked up from my house and Jess stayed the night. Watching over the footage I took from that night, we found one clip in particular too hilarious not to share with the world. Abby, making a complete fool of herself.

And that's that, really. There is, naturally, other stuff going on in my life right now. It is, however, too personal to share. A lot of matters aren't even my stories to tell and I doubt my friends would be too happy if I blogged about it online.

Now, before my head splits open, I'm going to go. Gossip Girl has finished loading so I'm going to go and watch that. See you whenever I'm better, readers!

Darren Everett Criss

Darren Criss is my favourite musical artist, my favourite actor, and my biggest idol. For now, let's just forget about the fact that I'm also head over heels for him because that's completely irrelevant. If you're following this blog, you probably know who he is (at least by name) but this post is just outlining how excited I am for/about him.

Darren Criss made his on-stage debut when he was just ten years old, in 42nd Street Moon's 1997 production of Fanny in the role of Cesario. Robin Williams, the voice of Genie in Aladdin, made him want to act. A voice in an animated movie. If that doesn't scream "amazing", then I don't know what does. He can play a variety of instruments that include violin, guitar, piano, cello, mandolin, and drums. Darren wrote his first song when he was fourteen and he later began attending the University of Michigan. He was just this dorky, Disney-loving, carefree guy with a million possibilities in front of him.

He met these people in university and they started writing nerdy plays and musicals, performing them at UMich. They're all adorable, hilarious people with outstanding talent. They won some money and threw together a webseries called Little White Lie, which they didn't post online until a much later date. At this time, he was still just this unknown guy who recorded himself singing Disney songs and posting them on YouTube under the username inspired by the cartoon character he created when he was eight.

In 2009, Harry Potter: The Musical was created, in which Darren Criss not only wrote half the songs but also starred as the one and only Harry Potter. They posted it online for friends who couldn't manage to see the show live. After getting into a few copyright issues, they took it down and re-posted it as A Very Potter Musical, cutting out a few inappropriate jokes here and there. They expected their friends, relatives and classmates to watch it. Never did they expect -- or even dream -- that it would become such an internet sensation. These friends began to call themselves StarkidPotter.

Almost immediately after they re-posted the Harry Potter parody, they also uploaded Little White Lie and received a very positive response. Darren Criss plays Toby Phillips, a down-to-earth guy with his eyes set on one of the main characters -- Sami -- but his availability stolen by Sami's rival, Tanya.

For 24 Hour Theatre, a challenge to write and rehearse four plays in 24 hours, Darren played the role of Dick in Me and My Dick. Afterwards, StarkidPotter decided they liked the idea so much that they'd clean it up and perform it properly as it's own musical. In November, they posted this musical on their YouTube account. It, too, quickly became popular. However, this time, Joe Walker took Darren's place.

Why? Because Darren was busy filming for a new television drama series called Eastwick. He was in five out of thirteen episodes, portraying a character named Josh Burton.

In April, Darren then guest-starred in an episode of Cold Case (titled Free Love), before returning to his friends (now an official acting company, Starkid) to work on A Very Potter Sequel. The sequel, it's music entirely written by Darren, was posted online in July 2010. Once again, he played Harry, and the musical was a complete success.

Around the same time, Darren released his debut EP on iTunes, which was produced in his bedroom. It contains five of his original songs: Human, Jealousy, Sami (written for LWL), Don't You and Not Alone. He performed quiet shows in coffee shops and street corners where anyone could stand by and listen, free of charge.

In November 2010, he appeared on Glee as an openly gay teen from a rival school, Dalton Academy, and Kurt's love interest. His version of Teenage Dream became Glee's most successful, fastest-selling single to date as Starkids swarmed in to buy it. I started watching Glee when Darren landed a part and I am now a proud member of the Glee fandom.

Darren's character, Blaine, is an inspiration to many people and Darren Criss is now officially a celebrity. A month into his new-found fame, he performed a show at The Roxy and asked people to bring along unused toys, which he then donated to the Toys For Tots charity. He recently attended the Golden Globes and stood on stage with the rest of the Glee cast as they accepted their award, and is now going to appear on the cover of Entertainment Weekly, alongside Chris Colfer (who plays Kurt).

This year, he is writing the music for another (original) Starkid production, Starship, will be working on Glee some more, and has plans to release a full-length, original album. He will also be taking part in the Glee UK Live Tour with the rest of the Glee cast. 

The main reason this man is such an inspiration to me is that, in less than two years, Darren Criss has gone from this random guy that makes goofy musicals with his friends to this fantastic, globally acknowledged actor on one of the most popular television series of all time. From July 2009 to January 2011, he's gone from a guy who sits in his bedroom singing Disney songs to the cover of one of the biggest American magazines. He's still just as humble and dorky and open as he was back then, and he's not afraid to rock those pink sunglasses and make nerdy references in interviews. He's still a fanboy, he's still new to fame, he's still the adorably hilarious guy we all know and fell in love with.

The point of this post? I'm not completely sure. I'm just so proud of Darren, of how far he's come and in such little time. I'm so excited for him, watching all these new experiences and opportunities take hold of him. It makes me so happy to see how much he's enjoying himself now, and to realise that fame hasn't affected his personalities or tamed his hilarious quirks in the slightest. I love him, he's my biggest inspiration, and he will be my favourite actor/musical artist for a long time to come.

Darren Criss, never change.

Golden Globes

It's late, I'm tired, I want to go to bed, but I'm trying to keep this thing up. So, hi. I'll blog about Saturday (friend's birthday) when I'm more awake and I find it easier to concentrate. Right now, I want to blog about the Golden Globes.

I didn't watch them but most of the people I follow on Tumblr were liveblogging/screencapping/filming it so I managed to see everything I care about. Glee, Lea Michele, Matt Morrison, Jane Lynch and Chris Colfer were all nominated in various different categories. Glee won, Jane Lynch won, and (to me) most importantly, Chris Colfer won. Lea and Matt sadly didn't, but to be nominated is a fantastic achievement in itself -- and they still won through Glee.

Chris is genuinely the sweetest person I know of. Every time I watch the video of his acceptance speech, I choke up. He's amazing. When they called out his name, he just sort of sat there in shock while Dianna Agron kissed him and Ashley Fink pushed him up. As he walked to the stage, he was in a complete trance. It was obvious. He looked completely shellshocked. His speech was so beautiful and inspiring and wonderful. I love him.

Since the Golden Globes, I've watched various interviews with the cast/Chris/Darren about the awards and they're all adorable. Every single member of that cast is so amazing and beautiful and inspiring and gorgeous and fantastic and I'm tired so I'm running out of adjectives here.

Darren, as always, was sporting his infamous pink sunglasses. If he ever decides not to wear them to any kind of special event, I'd start worrying. They are him. They complete him. They are amazing. And he got up on stage! With the rest of the cast! I started flailing and fangirling when I saw the pictures.

Anyway, I am insanely proud of all of them. I love them so much. I realise this post has genuinely just been a gushing ramble that none of you care about, but there we go. At least I'm blogging.

Pre-Exam Stress

It's late, the night before my exam, and I can't sleep. My head hurts, like usual, and I'm petrified of failing tomorrow. I've studied myself into a frenzy, my friend and I quizzed each other today after school, I've done everything I possibly can to try and get everything into my overcrowded brain. I know I'm prepared, I know that I know enough to get a passing grade, but my paranoia is getting the better of me and convincing me that I know nothing and that I will fail.

I'm sorry for being such a Debbie Downer lately, and thank you so much to those of you who commented and gave me your support and kind words. You have no idea how much I appreciate it that you took the time to leave those comments for me.

The stuff going on in my head isn't something that can sort itself out overnight. I understand that you don't know what it is so you won't be able to get it, but it's something I have to come to terms with about myself and by myself. That's going to take time because I'm so confused about it, and I wish I felt comfortable enough to talk about it but I really don't. When I do, however, you -- my readers -- will be some of the first people to know.

Telling me not to worry, though I understand you have good intentions, generally only tends to make me worry more. I try not to think about whatever is worrying me which effectively only makes me more aware of it which makes me worry more. It's a vicious cycle, and one I've fallen prey to more than once.

My birthday, Megha, is on 31st January. Once my birthday is over, I will blog about it. It will either be a babble about how excited I am that it turned out alright, or an angst!fest because it got ruined. All (about why I'm dreading this birthday) will be explained in that blog post.

Right, I'm starting to feel more tired now, so I'm going to try and get some more sleep. I hope I'm not too exhausted for the exam tomorrow. See you, readers!

Nothing Eventful

"I'll try and post every other day," I said ... and then didn't post for five days.

I've been busy doing homework and, more completely, studying for my Biology GCSE (which is on Thursday! Ack!). When I'm not studying or at school, I'm sleeping or spending time on here, talking to friends. When I'm not studying, I'm just really not in the mood for blogging. I'm not now, actually, I just decided I should try and actually stick to my promise.

Aside from the fact that I'm never in the mood to blog, there's also the little factor that I have nothing to talk about. Nothing eventful is happening at school, and what is happening is top secret, tell-anyone-and-I'll-have-to-kill-you kind of stuff, so I can't exactly talk about it here.

I've been suffering with headaches, lately, too. Nothing too bad like before, not painful enough to bring my life to an abrupt halt, but I've been getting them at least twice every day for the past week or so. It's not fun.

I've had a lot of down moments over the past couple of days for several reasons. I won't go into detail but January is a bad month for me as it is, especially this year with the stress of the GCSE exam. There's also a whole lot of stuff going round in my head at the moment (stuff which, at the current time, I'm not comfortable discussing ... with anyone) which generally leads to me getting angsty when I think about it all too much.

So, my life is extremely uneventful and dull at the moment, though I hope it'll pick up soon. Exam stress will be (partially) over on Thursday, and my friend's birthday* is at the weekend so we're going to the cinema/city centre/her house. That ought to lighten my mood a bit. I'll probably post about that afterwards, so that's something to ... I don't know ... look forward to?

I suppose I'll see you all later.

*Speaking of birthdays, mine is (unfortunately) coming up. People keep nagging me about doing something for it, and I just ... do not want to.

2011 Book Count

I've started up my new blog for this year's Book Count. Again, my target is different, but there are new rules. It's a fresh start, and I'm already close to putting my first book of the year (Looking For Alaska by John Green) on there. It's funny how, last year, I'd read four books by the 3rd January. This year, it's the 6th and I've barely even finished one. However, I do have other things to think about (i.e. exams) so reading isn't my main priority.

Anyway, if you'd like to follow my 2011 Book Count blog, you can find it here. My 2010 Book Count, for anyone curious, can be found here.

I don't have much else to say, other than it's kind of late and I'm tired so I'll be going to bed now. Goodnight!

Another Full Moon

I'm gonna try and get into the habit of blogging at least every other day. I was going to blog about my first day back at school (today) but it was so boring and uneventful. Of course, I suppose it could have been more interesting if I hadn't only gotten two hours of sleep last night. Nothing is interesting when I'm exhausted.

Here's a short story I wrote months ago about Remus Lupin and the Marauders experiencing another full moon. For those unfamiliar with the Harry Potter series, Remus Lupin is a werewolf. He (Moony; Harry's 3rd Year DADA teacher), James Potter (Prongs; Harry's father), Sirius Black (Padfoot; Harry's Godfather), and Peter Pettigrew (Wormtail) were best friends at Hogwarts and they called themselves the Marauders. When Remus' friends found out about his being a werewolf, they started researching animagi. In their Fifth Year, they finally succeeded in (illegally) turning themselves into animagi (people who can change into a specific creature at will) so they could accompany Remus during the full moon.

Without any further ado, I give you, Another Full Moon:

Steph Blogs Too Less

Again, this is kind of in response to Megha's comment on my last post, but I had actually been thinking about blogging about this before I saw her comment.

Megha's right, I don't blog often enough. I used to be really good about it, too. I used to blog a fair bit. Then it slowly dwindled down to hardly blogging at all. I'm going to try and change that. Consider this my unofficial, three-days-late New Years' Resolution -- I'm going to blog more. I'm going to make a conscious effort to blog more.

See, now that I have Tumblr, I just vent/stress/scream/fangirl over there very briefly and I don't even think about blogging. That's going to change. I'm not going to stop talking about things on Tumblr, but I'm going to talk about things more here. I will. Even if I have to get my friends to kick me up the backside to do it.

I start school tomorrow and I have a Biology GCSE on the 13th, so I'm going to be cramming. You won't be hearing much from me throughout the next ten days because what time I do spend online won't be spent blogging about how much I hate school and how tiring studying can be. However, I shall keep you updated when I can.

See you soon, I suppose!

In Response to Megha's Comment

Megha wrote a comment on my last post that I wish to reply to. However, blogger doesn't allow me to reply to comments, so I have to do it like this.

Wow, Steph! You've had a really... busy year! I can't believe you've been able to go through it with all the ups and downs in your life (such as the constant headaches).

I've been ill an awful lot this year, but it's the same as it always has been. Getting diseases and illnesses constantly is something you get used to when you've had a weak immune system your entire life. It's the same with my sleeping problems -- a lot of people don't understand how I can find it so easy to stay up late, but when you've rarely been able to sleep before midnight for three years, you get used to it.

The way I see it, you just have to deal with illnesses and problems and stress; suck it up and keep going. If you let the bad times in your life control you, you won't ever have a chance to properly live. So while I was dealing with all the crap last year threw my way, I tried not to let it affect what I was doing. There were a few times, like with the headache that lasted three weeks, when it did interrupt my life, but sometimes, it's inevitable.

Long story short, I've learnt to put up with the low times in my life.

Do you keep a diary or something? Cos' most people wouldn't remember so much. 

Well, I have this blog, which is kind of like a diary, but I didn't really look back on here to see much. While my memory is generally pretty terrible, I can remember a lot of events and such that happened in my life. When I spoke about Tumblr, I admit, I actually went through my Tumblr archives to find my first post and find out when I joined. The rest of it, however, was written from memory.

So have I, you know. It's been a different year from the others, sorta... relaxing. It's like a message to beware, as it might be the end of Fun (although that's unlikely - probably my imagination running loose again) this year.

I'm glad you enjoyed your year!  Mine has been pretty stressful, especially since September. The schoolwork and homework has really been stressing out, and I've been struggling to handle it all. But, like I said, problems aside, it's been a good year.

Have you made any resolutions? 

I'm not really one for resolutions, I'm afraid. So, no, I haven't.

Happy New Year

2010 has had his ups and downs, but overall, it's been a pretty good year. This time last year, I was a completely different person. I have changed, matured, and grown so much in the past twelve months, it's kind of surreal.

My biggest change, I think, is that I'm a Nerdfighter. I discovered Kristina Horner towards the end of 2009, and at the beginning of 2010, I started discovering everyone else. Nerimon, fiveawesomegirls, Vlogbrothers. Through them, I found charlieissocoollike, lexcanroar, the 5AG as separate people, DFTBA records. And so many more YouTubers and things. They have changed me so much, it's kind of unreal. Because of Kristina, I was introduced to Wizard Rock, and DFTBA Records introduced me to so many new styles of music.

I've really gotten into fanfiction and I love finding friends in fandoms (particularly the Harry Potter one, naturally). I've become a lot more involved in the online community and I love all the online friends I've made. My writing has improved dramatically thanks to KWC and

In the early months of the year, I read my first manga, Pita-Ten, soon followed by Vampire Knight. I later watched my first anime, Ouran High School Host Club. I started watching the Vampire Knight anime, though for some reason, I stopped a few episodes in. I also began reading the Ouran manga, though I've yet to read past the first volume. I'm now attending an anime expo with my cousin a few months.

I went to my first concert in June, and P!nk completely rocked that stage. I also went to France with the school for a day, which was my first time abroad. My mother and I had been considering going somewhere with some kind of connection to Harry Potter, and we eventually deciding on going to a small town six hours north called Alnwick. The castle grounds were used in the Potter movies. We went in August, and it was one of the best long weekends of my life.

Another big change was finding Starkid. About a week before A Very Potter Sequel was put online, I finally got tired of being confused by the AVPM references on AverageWizard and decided to watch A Very Potter Musical. I fell in love with it. I watched it several times over that week, and when A Very Potter Sequel was posted, I was so excited. I quickly found Little White Lie, too, even though it doesn't have a playlist of it's own and you can't access it from Starkid's account. After a few weeks of re-watching the musicals and hovering over the link to the Me and My Dick playlist, I finally decided to watch that, too.

On 5th August, I joined Tumblr, a site that has drastically changed my life. I joined so I could easily keep track of lexcanroar(youtube)/iseahorse(tumblr)'s posts, and it was amazing. I have over 7,000 posts on there already, in the space of five months. I got into it instantly and I've been addicted ever since. When I turn the laptop on, Tumblr is always the first site I go to. It has it's issues, but I absolutely adore that site. On 19th September, I created an EffYeahDevinLytle tumblr. Devin followed it twenty-four hours after it was created.

In September, I went into Year Nine and begrudgingly watched the piles of homework topple onto me. It was stressful and I was on the verge of a mental breakdown. But I got through it. At some point between September and November, I discovered pansexuality, and knew instantly that -- after almost a year of questioning -- I'd found my sexuality.

In October, it was revealed to the world that Darren Criss -- Harry Potter from AVPM -- would be starring in Glee as a gay teen from a rival school, and was to supposedly going to become Kurt's love interest. For two weeks leading up to 9th November (his first episode), I watched as much of Glee as I could. Glee had never interested me beforehand and I'd never planned on watching it. With one of the most important men in my life getting a role on the show, however, I knew I had to watch it. As I whizzed through the first season, I found myself falling in love with the show, and I am now proud to say I'm part of the Glee fandom.

I'm now part of a Glee RP on Tumblr, roleplaying as Blaine, and I get along really well with the girl who roleplays Kurt -- Blaine's boyfriend -- and she's my first Tumblr friend. If you're reading this, hey Karo ^.^

On 13th November, I went to my second concert -- a Paramore one. I went with my best friend, and it was absolutely amazing. This month, they announced that two of the band members would be leaving (and are supposedly to be replaced by Taylor York's brother and someone else who I've forgotten the name of). I'm so grateful that I managed to get in just in time.

In December, I came out to my best friend. We haven't really gotten a chance to talk about it thoroughly but she's perfectly okay with it, completely supportive of it, and really grateful that I told her. I couldn't ask for a better friend than her. She's so amazing and I love her to pieces.

Christmas wasn't the best it could have been, but it ended on a happy note. My baby cousin was really ill with a dangerously high temperature so, while his parents took him to A+E, the rest of my family sat quietly in the living room, watching TV and attempting to eat Christmas dinner, though none of us could enjoy ourselves or eat much because we were so worried. The doctors managed to get his temperature down and they came back a few hours later with him as happy as could be. I got several Disney DVDs from several people (though mostly my mum), and my wonderful mother got me a giant Simba teddy that I now sleep with at night. Not ashamed.

Overall, the year has been relatively good to me, though I've had a lot of low times. I doubt 2011 will top this year, but who knows? It might surprise me.